Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. What are the causes of stress among young adults and what do you think can be done to overcome this problem?
New generation lifestyle
combained
a lot of Correct your spelling
combined
responsibilitesm
, Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
as a
result
many Add the comma(s)
result,
psycological
diseases appeared among communities. Correct your spelling
psychological
Moreover
many are related to the type of routine thst
they have, For Correct your spelling
that
instanse
, in our Correct your spelling
instance
parents
days Change noun form
parent's
parents'
the
had more healthier life pattern, Correct your spelling
they
Additionally
, more relaxed or relieved mindes
.
Correct your spelling
minds
Furthermore
, bahaviours
, lifestyle, Correct your spelling
behaviour
Correct word choice
and enviromental
enviromental
effects all are connected. Correct your spelling
environmental
Firstly
, these days pepole
always Correct your spelling
people
had
Wrong verb form
have
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
schedule
and many obstacles and challenges, Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
such
as to secure proper
job they have to obtain many skills and certificates ,they more worry about Correct article usage
a proper
fainance
and their needs are significantly increased, Correct your spelling
finance
finances
Also
, there is a lack in
term of simplicity if someone Change preposition
of
wantes
to go to vacation it requires more Correct your spelling
wants
wanted
mony
than it Correct your spelling
money
tend
in past .
Change the verb form
tends
In
Change preposition
On
one
hand individuals Correct article usage
the one
are
suffering recently from the Wrong verb form
have been
expectation
and long working hours, Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
Although
many are still financialy
Correct your spelling
financially
not stable
, In Rephrase
unstable
fact
many need to work for more than one job. Add the comma(s)
fact,
In
Change preposition
On
other
hand, previously our parents had Correct article usage
the other
simple
,Correct article usage
a simple
quite
,peaceful life Correct your spelling
quiet
due to
the ease to cover
their needs and short working time.
In conclusion, there is Change preposition
of covering
solution
to reduce Add an article
the solution
a solution
the
Correct article usage
apply
stress related
diseases and Add a hyphen
stress-related
the
Correct article usage
apply
psycolgical
depression Correct your spelling
psychological
that
is
Wrong verb form
has been
trend
recently. To prioritize mental Add an article
a trend
well being
and Add a hyphen
well-being
insure
that everything will be fine is one of Correct your spelling
ensure
yhe
key solutions. Correct your spelling
the
finally
, having free time and Capitalize word
Finally
braks
from the routine can help to Correct your spelling
breaks
minimlies
the Correct your spelling
minimise
affect
of Replace the word
effect
high speed
life Add a hyphen
high-speed
pattern
.Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
Submitted by Selfigih7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on improving the clarity and grammatical accuracy of your sentences. Small errors can cumulatively affect the overall readability of your essay.
content structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that develop that idea. This would improve coherence and cohesion.
cohesion
Utilize transitional phrases to better connect ideas between and within paragraphs. This enhances the logical flow of the essay.
task
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This would make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task response
The essay addresses the main points of the prompt, discussing both causes of stress and potential solutions.
structure
The intention to provide structure by having an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is evident.
analysis
You have made a commendable effort to discuss the differences between generations and how it relates to stress levels in young adults today.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!