Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Some believe that songs are just listened to
entertain
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for entertainment
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,
while
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others feel that it plays an important role in the community.
Although
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it can be used to bring leisure to the mood of the public, its primary aim is to relieve the stress and anxiety that individuals carry from their busy lives. Many people assume that attending
the
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concerts or stage shows of artists will bring them joy and happiness during that particular time.
This
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seems to be a valid statement
as
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, as
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singing on a different pitch could give the public goosebumps.
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, during the shows of famous artists, the public is constantly cheering out of happiness , which means that they have channelled their other emotions with joy , even for a brief moment.
As a result
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, they are getting entertained during that period without any other thoughts in their mind.
On the other hand
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, music has a significant purpose rather than a simple amusement. It is stressed by psychologists that music is a cure for anxiety and depression in the community.
This
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form of interest can keep people away from negativity.
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, some tunes could divert the mind of a person into positive thoughts or bring back nostalgic memories , which could improve mental health.
This
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is because songs could assist in remembering certain precious moments. So, I believe it has a much more important role to play. In conclusion, beats carry power to make folds forget their traumas, so
,
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it should be given more importance in society than to be just seen as an amusement source.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You talk about fun and stress help, but add a little more on why some people see music only as fun.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but state it in the introduction in a more direct way.
task response
Use more specific examples. For example, name a real situation, place, or group of people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas need smoother links. Use simple link words like first, also, however, and because.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not fully clear, so the main point is harder to follow. Keep each sentence short and direct.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
Your main idea is mostly easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs well, with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly logical.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural tool
  • shared identity
  • cognitive development
  • creativity
  • mental health
  • music therapy
  • chronic pain
  • entertainment value
  • personal escape
  • cultural background
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