The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of spesific come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Biodiversity is very important for maintaining sustainability. Nowadays, a lot of numbers for
animals
are under threat so the
Government
needs to protect them so they don't become threatened and maintain biodiversity. There are many causes for the animal threats. The
first,
environmental
Add a missing verb
is environmental
show examples
damage by human beings,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
forest
fires. When doing that, almost all
animals
in the woods will feel intimidated and move to other areas that are more safe, indeed not even a small amount died for
animals
.
Moreover
, deforestation is
also
frequent in some countries like
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Indonesia. So far, the tree is a life place for some
animals
in the
forest
but when the tree was cut down of course the
animals
lost their house. Not only that, another bad effect is that the smoke produced can cause respiratory
problems
both for
animals
and humans in the
near
Correct word choice
nearby
show examples
forest
areas.
On the other hand
, the
Government
also
contributed to these
problems
like infrastructure development in the
forest
. Absolutely, we can
make
Verb problem
find
show examples
solution
Correct article usage
a solution
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
that
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
.
Firstly
, the
Government
made a program education for netizens, especially about lists of
animals
protected
for example
in Indonesia like Cendrawasih Birds from Papua Islands.
And
Correct word choice
Then
show examples
then
, the
Government
build ecotourism with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
for example
in Borneo,
Sumatera
Correct your spelling
Sumatra
show examples
, Sulawesi or Papua Islands that have
Forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
very much too.
Next,
The
Government
can
Correct your spelling
focus
focuss
Correct your spelling
focus
to finish
Change preposition
on finishing
show examples
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
making
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
and
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
such
as
activity to
Correct your spelling
activities
show examples
conversation, animal
protected
Replace the word
protection
show examples
and giving punishment to some people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
breaking
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
the laws like catching, hunting and selling
animal protected
Add a hyphen
animal-protected
show examples
In my opinion,
this
is a big problem and there needs to soon be a search for a solution and collaboration for everyone from any background
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Government
, Environment Activist, Social Enterprise,
Company
Fix the agreement mistake
Companies
show examples
and others.
Submitted by writingbersama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
In the introduction, make sure to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps provide a clear structure for the reader.
supported main points
Try to elaborate more on each example and link it clearly to the main point being made. This will make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have identified the main causes of threats to biodiversity and provided relevant examples to support your points.
complete response
You've suggested practical solutions that can be implemented to mitigate the threats to biodiversity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Endangered species
  • Wildlife sanctuaries
  • Sustainable practices
  • Conservation efforts
  • Habitat destruction
  • Ecosystem dynamics
  • Species populations
  • International cooperation
  • Climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Economic planning
  • Sustainable development
  • Public awareness
  • Community involvement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: