Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Presently, a high average working hour is considered an important factor in enhancing the economic development of many nations, which
also
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causes detrimental social repercussions. In my perspective, I firmly concur with
this
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view because I recognize several advantages and drawbacks of working for a longer
time
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, which impact both the economy and social aspects of those countries. In terms of the country's economy, when people devote more
time
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to
work
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that could lay the foundation for various financial advancements in the long term. More working
time
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could increase productivity and the volume of produced products, which is synonymous with an improvement in national GDP, allowing countries to foster their financial status. Take Japan as a potential example of
this
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, Japanese workers spend more
time
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at
work
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than the world’s average working
time
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, directly influencing the effectiveness and
overall
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profits of their own country.
Therefore
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, Japan is known as a country with a strong financial status compared to others in the world
due to
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the consistent contribution of Japan’s hard-working
labor
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labour
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force. Regarding society, the issues related to citizens’ health and unbalanced lives are not disregarded. In some countries where workers devoting more
time
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to complete their
work
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may take a heavy toll on
labor
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labour
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health
due to
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the heavy workload and working pressure that people have suffered from for a long span of
time
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.
As a result
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, the detrimental phenomena, namely having a sense of daunting, fatigue, and lack of motivation for
work
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, have become ubiquitous in those nations.
In addition
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, the possibility of achieving
work
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-life balance status is more challenging when workers may have limited quality
time
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for their
beloved
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loved
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relationships,
spelling
Verb problem
causing
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trouble
for
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in
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strengthening family bonds and improving the sense of community in society. In conclusion, I hold a supportive view that having longer working
time
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is attributed to a nation’s economic success which may implicate some drawbacks in terms of sociable aspects
such
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as people’s health and lifestyle.
Submitted by thanhtu.thcsbt on

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task achievement
Your essay responds to the prompt thoughtfully and addresses both the economic benefits and social drawbacks of long working hours, fulfilling the task requirements effectively. However, enhance the analysis with more detailed examples and elaboration to improve depth. Aim for clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are mostly clear, work on linking sentences and paragraphs more fluidly. This will improve the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each point transitions smoothly into the next to maintain coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a solid introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument and reflect a clear stance.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the example of Japan, to support your main points, which strengthens the credibility of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average working time
  • Economically successful
  • Negative social consequences
  • Employee burnout
  • Competitive edge
  • Global markets
  • Consumer spending
  • Productivity
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health issues
  • Community ties
  • Societal well-being
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