Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Presently, a high average working hour is considered an important factor in enhancing the economic development of many nations, which

also

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causes detrimental social repercussions. In my perspective, I firmly concur with

this

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view because I recognize several advantages and drawbacks of working for a longer

time

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, which impact both the economy and social aspects of those countries. In terms of the country's economy, when people devote more

time

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work

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that could lay the foundation for various financial advancements in the long term. More working

time

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could increase productivity and the volume of produced products, which is synonymous with an improvement in national GDP, allowing countries to foster their financial status. Take Japan as a potential example of

this

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, Japanese workers spend more

time

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work

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than the world’s average working

time

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, directly influencing the effectiveness and

overall

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profits of their own country.

Therefore

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, Japan is known as a country with a strong financial status compared to others in the world

due to

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the consistent contribution of Japan’s hard-working

labor

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labour

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force. Regarding society, the issues related to citizens’ health and unbalanced lives are not disregarded. In some countries where workers devoting more

time

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to complete their

work

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may take a heavy toll on

labor

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labour

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health

due to

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the heavy workload and working pressure that people have suffered from for a long span of

time

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As a result

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, the detrimental phenomena, namely having a sense of daunting, fatigue, and lack of motivation for

work

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, have become ubiquitous in those nations.

In addition

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, the possibility of achieving

work

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-life balance status is more challenging when workers may have limited quality

time

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for their

beloved

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loved

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relationships,

spelling

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causing

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trouble

for

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strengthening family bonds and improving the sense of community in society. In conclusion, I hold a supportive view that having longer working

time

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is attributed to a nation’s economic success which may implicate some drawbacks in terms of sociable aspects

such

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as people’s health and lifestyle.

thanhtu.thcsbtSat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds to the prompt thoughtfully and addresses both the economic benefits and social drawbacks of long working hours, fulfilling the task requirements effectively. However, enhance the analysis with more detailed examples and elaboration to improve depth. Aim for clearer, more comprehensive ideas.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are mostly clear, work on linking sentences and paragraphs more fluidly. This will improve the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each point transitions smoothly into the next to maintain coherence throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a solid introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument and reflect a clear stance.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the example of Japan, to support your main points, which strengthens the credibility of your argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Average working time
Economically successful
Negative social consequences
Employee burnout
Competitive edge
Global markets
Consumer spending
Productivity
Work-life balance
Mental health issues
Community ties
Societal well-being

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