Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree tzzhat there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some might argue that spectating huge
sports
events
on TV
will inspire adults to work-out
more. Meanwhile, another Correct your spelling
work out
argument
state
that there are many better Correct subject-verb agreement
states
alternative
to motivate Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
people
to do physical activities. Personally, I am more leaning towards the second argument
and I will explain it more in the next
following paragraphs.
There is a misconception with the first Correct word choice
apply
argument
that state
watching Fix the agreement mistake
states
sports
events
on TV
can encourage people
to do
Unnecessary verb
apply
exercise
. Enjoying sports
as a viewer and doing the actual sports
is
two different things that Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
need to understand. People
might get this
adrenaline rush and thrilling sensation when they are watching sports
tournament
, but Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
this
does not corelate
with having Correct your spelling
correlate
motivation
to do the sport itself. Change the article
the motivation
Majority
of Correct article usage
The majority
people
that
identify themselves as Correct pronoun usage
who
sports
viewer usually just like to see it for the
entertainment Correct article usage
apply
purposed
only and rarely follow it up to do the Replace the word
purposes
exercise
. Even if they do exercise
after watch
the tournament, most of them will rarely commit to the sport that they Change the verb form
watching
initally
do.
As it is stated in the previous paragraph, watching Correct your spelling
initially
sports
events
on TV
will not make someone love doing sports
automatically. What motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
people
to exercise
regularly is
mainly Verb problem
apply
come
from their selves, especially when they just discovered they have health issues. Wrong verb form
comes
In addition
to that, many people
also
start to work out more when they are not comfortable enough with their body shape. So it can be said that what encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
people
to do sports
or exercise
more is something personal that come
from themselves rather than external factors. Change the verb form
comes
That is
why the later
Correct your spelling
latter
argument
are making
more sense than the first one.
In conclusion, watching Wrong verb form
makes
sports
events
on TV
does not corelate
to Correct your spelling
correlate
relate
people
become
motivated to Wrong verb form
becoming
exercise
regularly, rather people
are more likely to work out when they have this
internal reasons Correct determiner usage
apply
such
as health issues and achieve their dream body.Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
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task achievement
While the ideas are clear, ensure that you develop each point more comprehensively, including specific examples or studies that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance the flow of writing. For example, phrases like 'what motivate people' could be corrected to 'what motivates people.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph addresses a specific point relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You effectively presented both viewpoints, allowing for a balanced discussion before clearly stating your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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