It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers. Include a relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is
principal
for Correct word choice
important
people
to take risks
in Correct pronoun usage
their personal
personal
and professional Correct pronoun usage
their personal
lives
. People
who can take risks
will receive new experiences and knowledge for
their Change preposition
in
lives
. I think the benefit
of taking Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
risks
outweigh the drawback
because Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
people
who try to take risks
will more
satisfied Add a missing verb
be more
about
their Change preposition
with
lives
. In this
essay, I will compare the benefit
with the Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
drawback
of taking Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
risks
.
In life, people
will face several problems and choose the best option to head. Therefore
, to choose one of the options, people
usually feel scared. It is because the risk that happen
basically Change the verb form
happens
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
people
's lives
. For instance
, a man hire
Change the verb form
hires
consultant
to Add an article
a consultant
design
his personal house, but actually
he wants to Add a comma
actually,
design
it by himself. He feels too afraid if
his Correct word choice
that
design
will be unpopular, not attractive, and bullied by his friends. Finally
, he feels confused about the consultant
Change noun form
consultant's
design
because the design
not suitable for his taste.
Compared to the Add a verb
design is
design was
people
who have
brave Verb problem
are
to
take Rephrase
enough to
risks
, that person usually want
to Change the verb form
wants
unlocked
a new experience. Change the verb
unlock
Although
the results of their choice is
not satisfying, Change the verb form
are
people
who ever try to take risks
still enjoy the process they tried. Hence
, people
who take risks
usually gain a lesson learned from that result. For example
, people
invest in a stock share. In a month, the stock price increase
significantly, but suddenly Replace the word
increased
drop
to the lowest price. He Wrong verb form
dropped
confused
about that, but he gets a new experience and knowledge by Add a missing verb
is confused
invest
in stock.
In conclusion, the advantages of taking Wrong verb form
investing
risks
outweigh the drawbacks such
as gain
new experiences and knowledge for personal and professional Wrong verb form
gaining
lives
. So, people
should try to take risks
for better lives
. Furthermore
, from the
experiences Correct your spelling
these
people
can face and control their new problems.Submitted by innezgracias on
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task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, include more specific examples to support your arguments. The current examples are helpful, but adding more detail could strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but aim to develop them more fully. For instance, elaborate on why taking risks can lead to personal satisfaction and how this contrasts with the fear of potential negative consequences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but try to make your transitions between paragraphs smoother. You might use phrases like ‘On the other hand’ or ‘In contrast’ to link contrasting points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position, but it could be more engaging. Try to start with a compelling statement or question that draws the reader in.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay. However, restate your position more emphatically to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically presented and supported with relevant examples.