Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

In today’s modern society, children necessitate fundamental changes to educational platforms.
Although
traditional subjects
such
as Math, Literature or science are undoubtedly significant, personally, I strongly believe that
schools
should incorporate practical life
skills
like baking, dressmaking or wood-making into education systems. First of all, teaching practical
skills
at home is
also
crucial. We can observe that many traditional academic
schools
usually skip the essential life
skills
in their curricula. To illustrate,
schools
can organise classes to teach young people about cooking,
thus
they can gain a deep understanding of healthy eating diet, meal planning and the value of balanced nutrition. These
skills
will contribute to creating good habits for young people and lead to a lifelong impact on their health.
This
process is best done in families where habits can form in the long term.
On the other hand
, incorporating main subjects and real-life
skills
will attract students more
thanjust
Correct your spelling
than just
traditional.
This
will reduce boredom and discover more innovative students because not all of the students excel in academics.
For instance
, a student who struggles with academics might discover fashionable talent. He is more interested in design, colour and sewing garments. From that, teachers can help him improve his talent and make him have a comfortable and excited feeling about school,
thusboosting
Correct your spelling
thus boosting
his
overall
engagement and motivation. In conclusion, I can say that
although
practice
skills
are not quite as vital as academic subjects , it is necessary in real life, and
schools
need to incorporate both of them into curricula.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly link your examples to the main arguments in your essay to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using connecting words and phrases more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples and elaborate on how practical skills can be applied in real-life scenarios to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear stance on the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both academic and practical skills.
coherence cohesion
The writing is generally well-structured with clear paragraphs and logical organization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
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