Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends

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In today’s modern society, children necessitate fundamental changes to educational platforms.

Although

traditional subjects

such

as Math, Literature or science are undoubtedly significant, personally, I strongly believe that

schools

should incorporate practical life

skills

like baking, dressmaking or wood-making into education systems. First of all, teaching practical

skills

at home is

also

crucial. We can observe that many traditional academic

schools

usually skip the essential life

skills

in their curricula. To illustrate,

schools

can organise classes to teach young people about cooking,

thus

they can gain a deep understanding of healthy eating diet, meal planning and the value of balanced nutrition. These

skills

will contribute to creating good habits for young people and lead to a lifelong impact on their health.

This

process is best done in families where habits can form in the long term.

On the other hand

, incorporating main subjects and real-life

skills

will attract students more

thanjust

Correct your spelling

than just

traditional.

This

will reduce boredom and discover more innovative students because not all of the students excel in academics.

For instance

, a student who struggles with academics might discover fashionable talent. He is more interested in design, colour and sewing garments. From that, teachers can help him improve his talent and make him have a comfortable and excited feeling about school,

thusboosting

Correct your spelling

thus boosting

his

overall

engagement and motivation. In conclusion, I can say that

although

practice

skills

are not quite as vital as academic subjects , it is necessary in real life, and

schools

need to incorporate both of them into curricula.

Submitted by acaitaz on Thu May 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to clearly link your examples to the main arguments in your essay to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using connecting words and phrases more effectively.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples and elaborate on how practical skills can be applied in real-life scenarios to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction provides a clear stance on the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the importance of both academic and practical skills.

coherence cohesion

The writing is generally well-structured with clear paragraphs and logical organization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic success
passing examinations
cookery
dressmaking
woodwork
learn from family and friends
personalized learning environment
supportive learning environment
well-rounded education
school curriculum
resources
expert guidance
enhance creativity
problem-solving
teamwork

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Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As we are facing more and more problems,which affect the whole planet,good relationship between different countries are becoming more important than ever before .To what extent do you agree or disagree?