Today many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It’s common that today’s
youngn
Correct your spelling
young
people
change
their
jobs
frequently.I think
this
state of affairs
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
to two main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
I think the state has
this
Change the word
its
show examples
own advantages and disadvantages,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
the former is greater than the latter. I think there are two reasons.
First,
the current cost of living is very high.It causes many young
people
cannot use their current wages to maintain their daily expenses. In order to survive, they have to find a
job
in a
company
with higher wages to maintain their lives.
Secondly
, the development of network technology now allows more employees to see
careers
Change the noun form
career
show examples
information that they are interested in, which means that it is easier for them to find
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
they like, pursue their ideals, and choose to
change
works. There are benefits to changing
jobs
frequently. First of all, young
people
can increase their salary by changing
campany
Correct your spelling
company
. Because many positions now hope to find experienced
people
, under
such
conditions, many young
people
with work experience can propose conditions for increasing their wages,
thus
increasing their income.
Although
there are two advantages to changing
jobs
every few years, there are still disadvantages.
For example
, it will cause losses to the firm . The
company
needs to invest money to train
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new staff . If
people
change
jobs
quickly, the
company
will need to invest in training costs for employees again and again.
In addition
,
people
who
change
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
as soon as possible will lose trust . Because they often alter companies and do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stable and long-term
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in the same
company
, subsequent companies will doubt whether
people
will
change
jobs
quickly,they will not hire
people
who often
change
jobs
because of
this
fear. In conclusion, I think the reason why graduates regularly replace
jobs
and positions is related to salary and information on the Internet. But in the long run,
such
frequent
job
changes will cause great damage to the trust of young
people
and the
company
. So I think the disadvantages outweigh the benefits
Submitted by luohongqianwen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in spelling and phrasing to avoid small typos such as 'youngn' instead of 'young'.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by making use of clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify the comparison between advantages and disadvantages by directly addressing why one outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The response fully addresses the task, touching on both reasons for job changes and the advantages/disadvantages.
task achievement
Relevant points are provided for both the reasons and the impacts of frequent job changes.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: