Today many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
It’s common that today’s
youngn
Correct your spelling
young
people
change
their jobs
frequently.I think this
state of affairs due
to two main Add a missing verb
is due
reason
, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
futhermore
I think the state has Correct your spelling
furthermore
this
own advantages and disadvantages,Change the word
its
however
the former is greater than the latter.
I think there are two reasons. Add the comma(s)
however,
First,
the current cost of living is very high.It causes many young people
cannot use their current wages to maintain their daily expenses. In order to survive, they have to find a job
in a company
with higher wages to maintain their lives. Secondly
, the development of network technology now allows more employees to see careers
information that they are interested in, which means that it is easier for them to find Change the noun form
career
workplace
they like, pursue their ideals, and choose to Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
change
works.
There are benefits to changing jobs
frequently. First of all, young people
can increase their salary by changing campany
. Because many positions now hope to find experienced Correct your spelling
company
people
, under such
conditions, many young people
with work experience can propose conditions for increasing their wages, thus
increasing their income. Although
there are two advantages to changing jobs
every few years, there are still disadvantages. For example
, it will cause losses to the firm . The company
needs to invest money to train a
new staff . If Remove the article
apply
people
change
jobs
quickly, the company
will need to invest in training costs for employees again and again. In addition
, people
who change
job
as soon as possible will lose trust . Because they often alter companies and do not have Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
a
stable and long-term Correct article usage
apply
job
in the same Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
company
, subsequent companies will doubt whether people
will change
jobs
quickly,they will not hire people
who often change
jobs
because of this
fear.
In conclusion, I think the reason why graduates regularly replace jobs
and positions is related to salary and information on the Internet. But in the long run, such
frequent job
changes will cause great damage to the trust of young people
and the company
. So I think the disadvantages outweigh the benefitsSubmitted by luohongqianwen on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in spelling and phrasing to avoid small typos such as 'youngn' instead of 'young'.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by making use of clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify the comparison between advantages and disadvantages by directly addressing why one outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The response fully addresses the task, touching on both reasons for job changes and the advantages/disadvantages.
task achievement
Relevant points are provided for both the reasons and the impacts of frequent job changes.
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