IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think news has no connection to peoples live so it is a waste of time to read news in newspaper and watch news programme in television .To what extend do you agree or disagree

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Back in the day,
News
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 were the primary source to get
information
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 about the state or society but
that is
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 not the case now. Some think that it is just a waste of
time
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 to watch or read
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news
Add an article
the news
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 now. I completely support
this
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 statement to
further
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 support
this
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 I will provide reasoning and examples for the same.
To begin
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 with, the Primary reason for many to think
this
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 way is
due to
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 the falsification of
news
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, which is used to provide wrong
information
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and suppress or hide the original facts.
This
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 strategy was orchestrated to safeguard society in case of a total collapse of a country or in any similar conditions.
However
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, political parties at present use
this
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 to benefit themselves by manipulating the community. In fact, Indian MP was found to be charged with raping a teenage girl which was suppressed using these
News
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 centres.
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Similarily
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Similarly
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, multiple official authorities are
also
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 found several times bribing witnesses and the government to hide original facts leading to distrust of the government and
news
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. The other main reason is the rise of useless
information
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 from these social
information
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 centres just to increase their TRP or
time
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 a consumer spends on
this
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news
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.
For instance
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,
news
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 was supposed to provide direct
information
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 without interruption.
However
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, nowadays Newspaper
shows
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show
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 almost over 65% of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 or juicy content about celebrity relations resulting in
time
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 wastage
of
Change preposition
for
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 common men. In summary, to reaffirm my opinion, it is true that
news
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 nowadays in papers or watch shows is less than 25% useful content which can be accessed using any online platform making these
news
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 programs and newspapers a complete waste of
time
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.

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task achievement
You have presented a clear position on the topic and supported it with relevant examples, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from a more balanced analysis. Consider including a paragraph that acknowledges the other side of the argument before refuting it with your own points.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make your argument more cohesive. Transitional phrases such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," and "On the other hand," would help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are clear, some of your sentences are quite long and complex, which can affect readability. Consider breaking them into shorter, more concise sentences.
coherence cohesion
Check for small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, in the introduction, "News were" should be "News was." Consistent and accurate grammar will improve your overall score.
task achievement
You have provided specific and relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are clear and you have maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay, which is commendable.
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