Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors too. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
People have different views about how
happiness
is achieved. While
many are of the idea that happiness
is a result of financial success, I agree with others
who feel there are more crucial factors involved.
Economic factors have great roles in achieving happiness
. Firstly
, Happiness
correlates highly with earnings and affords individuals a higher standard of living. A person with a considerable salary is able to buy a nice house, provide for their family, and purchase luxuries ranging from good food and frequent holidays to expensive vehicles and fashionable clothing. Each item taken on its own contributes a small degree of pleasure, and if added up they lead to generally
content, comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle. Add an article
a generally
Secondly
, an individual’s happiness
can also
be directly related to how happy others
in the
society are. If a person is financially stable, they are better able to aid the less privileged ones and nurture their needs. Correct article usage
apply
This
way they feel better about themselves as a productive member of the
society and feel pleased that Correct article usage
apply
others
enjoy an acceptable standard of living.
However
, I agree with the majority who would argue that happiness
is more a consequence of quality time with family and good health. To begin
, A comfortable home filled with luxuries is enjoyable, but the most sustained happiness
comes from close and strong bonds. Being in touch with family and strong interpersonal relationships with relatives can provide individuals with a sense of belonging and emotional support. This
emotional support can reduce stress level
and Fix the agreement mistake
levels
feeling
of loneliness that many people in Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
modern
world suffer from. Add an article
the modern
Additionally
, good health is a more powerful pre-condition for happiness
since no amount of wealth can buy relief from fatal diseases. Physical pain prevents people from enjoying the luxury and wealth they have collected through years
. If one is Correct article usage
the years
bed ridden
, they cannot travel Correct your spelling
bedridden
or
enjoy the company of Correct word choice
apply
others
or have peace.
In conclusion, it seems to me that happiness
depends on financial state, but more importantly on one’s relationship with their family and physical health .Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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task achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples to illustrate points more vividly. This can help in providing concrete evidence to support the arguments better.
coherence cohesion
There is room for enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next by using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the points made regarding family and health to provide a fuller picture of how these factors contribute to happiness.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well and clearly present the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Good use of vocabulary and varied sentence structures throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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