In some countries the average weight of people in increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve it?
In some countries, it is noticeable that
people
are suffering from increasing their average weight
and have a low level of fitness. The subsequent paragraphs will explore the reasons why people
struggling with the issue
of weight
increasing
and will suggest some measures to tackle Replace the word
increase
this
issue
effectively.
To begin
with, the reasons why people
struggle with increasing their average weight
and having a lower level of fitness could be attributed to the following. The primary one is the sedentary lifestyle
style
of the
large percentage of Correct article usage
a
people
. To clarify, people
are using their cars and public transportation instead
of walking to go to their work. A second reason to add is that eating too much fast foods which consist mainly of fats and carbs. To illustrate, fast foods contain high amounts of calories. Therefore
, people
will be obese and have some diseases.
To tackle this
problem, there are several measures could be taken. The first suggested solution is that practicing
sports regularly. To clarify, it helps Change the spelling
practising
people
to keep their bodies fit burns fats and preventing
increasing their Wrong verb form
prevents
weight
as a result
. A vital solution to the obesity problem is following a healthy diet lifestyle
style
by focusing on eating protein, vegetables and fruits instead
of eating fast foods.
In conclusion, the issue
of obesity could be attributed to a sedentary lifestyle
style
and eating too much fast food. However
, to tackle this
issue
, people
should be practicing
sports regularly and Change the spelling
practising
be
following a healthy diet Unnecessary verb
apply
lifestyle
style
focusing on eating protein instead
of fats.Submitted by aoalsuqaier16 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but it's important to elaborate more on the causes and measures with specific examples and clear explanations. Try to provide more depth in your responses.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure and has clear paragraphs. However, there is some repetition. Avoid using the same phrases like 'lifestyle style' and ensure each sentence adds unique value to your points.
coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay well with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs which make it easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points are supported by relevant examples, which enhances clarity and helps in understanding your arguments.
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