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A number of the businesses to day sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Several people think that this is a good thing for the world of sports. Others think this has disadvantages.

#businesses #sponsor #sports #people #world
A number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses
to day
Correct your spelling
today
show examples
sponsor
sports
 as a way of advertising themselves. Several people think that
this
 is a good thing for the world of
sports
. Others think
this
 has disadvantages. Many companies
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
often
sponsor
sports
 like basketball,
Correct word choice
and soccer
show examples
soccer
Correct word choice
and soccer
show examples
, …. In my opinion, the benefits of
such
 sponsors outweigh its drawbacks. Another advantage is that
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
show examples
sports
 can help
businesses
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
widely promoted.
For example
, a variety of
businesses
sponsor
soccer
 – a national
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. In Vietnam, many people like so much
soccer
, they often use products that
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 by
soccer
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
. Take
for example
 if a person
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
sport shoes
a sport shoe
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 shoes
then
 that person will choose the kind of shoes the player
wear
Correct subject-verb agreement
wears
show examples
.
This
 can help increase business sales.
On the other hand
,
sports
 images can be
misuse
Wrong verb form
misused
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
businesses
. They can use
sports
 like a tree
makes
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
 money.
For example
,
then
 a business
Correct pronoun usage
that want
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to
advertising
Change the verb
advertise
show examples
themselves who
Correct pronoun usage
itself
show examples
 will use
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 to control scores.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,
although
sponsor
sports
 can have a lot of great benefits, they
also
 have some disadvantages. So only the companies
sponsor
sports
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 way, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 beneficial for both sides.
Submitted by weezel on

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task response
Try to consistently use proper grammar and sentence structures to make your argument clearer.
coherence
Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and that there is a smooth flow between ideas. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases.
cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should succinctly present and summarize your key points.
task response
You have a clear understanding of the topic and provide relevant arguments.
cohesion
Your essay maintains a decent structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence
The use of specific examples, such as the popularity of soccer in Vietnam, adds relevance to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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