IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your town council has decided to demolish historic building due to lack of funds to renovate. Write a letter to your council man. say what the importance of this historic building is mention why it should be renovated rather than pull down suggest a plan to raise funds and maintain the building in the future Write at least 150 words.

#town #council #lack #funds #man #importance #plan #future
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Dear Sir, I saw an article in the local newspaper regarding the demolishing of our historical fort. As a citizen, I am writing
this
 letter to show my dissatisfaction with your idea. It is one of the historical buildings,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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built by the Mughal Empire in 1537.
Moreover
, the historical war against its destruction in 1600 by our freedom
fighter
Fix the agreement mistake
fighters
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 shows how important it was not
for
Rephrase
only for
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 our City, but
also
 for the country.
Additionally
, I believe our authorities should change their decision as
this
 building can be easily renovated. If we look closely, the
architecture
Replace the word
architectural
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 structure and the technique used by builders
on
Change preposition
at
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 that time
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 highly impressive. A little modification and beautification can develop it into a famous tourist place.
Similarly
, our upcoming generation can learn about our prehistoric era through
this
 building,
Lastly
, I would like you to introduce some ideas by which we can generate funds for
building's
Correct article usage
the building's
show examples
 renovation. The authorities should run
campaign
Add an article
a campaign
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 to motivate city-dwellers about the importance of
this
 building, and encourage them to donate some money for modification, and for maintenance we can conduct
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary cleaning work twice
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
year. I hope
this
 will help you to change your decision. yours Faithfully, Raj
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

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task achievement
While the letter is generally well-structured, adding more specific examples or details about the building's historical significance could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs, especially when transitioning from the importance of the building to suggestions for its renovation and maintenance.
task achievement
The letter successfully addresses all parts of the task, providing clear reasons for preserving the building and practical suggestions for fundraising and maintenance.
task achievement
The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a councilman, showing both respect and concern.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The closing is polite and appropriately formal, reinforcing the respectful tone of the letter.
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