Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rathe than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Throughout the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
scientists report that it is really helpful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
their early stage of life if they
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
learning
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
language
in primary school rather than secondary school.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
I think that there are more advantages than disadvantages. On the one hand,it is very easy to teach young
childern
Correct your spelling
children
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
languages. In that stage of
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
todlers
Correct your spelling
toddlers
can pick up any kind of
language
very effectively as their mother
language
. They have
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
show examples
which allows them
learning
Wrong verb form
to learn more
show examples
quickly than any
others ages
Fix the agreement mistake
other age
show examples
as they do not need
giving
Verb problem
to pay
show examples
attention to the complicated
garammar
Correct your spelling
grammar
and
pronounciation
Correct your spelling
pronunciation
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they do not have any information that confuses them. They take the
language
as a whole without any
tought
Correct your spelling
thought
as we all did
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
very young age.
For example
, my little cousin speaks in three languages even without an
acsent
Correct your spelling
accent
. His parents are
billingual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
and they speak their child in both of languages and
thrith
Correct your spelling
thrive
of
language
he learnt from
kinder
Add an article
the kinder
a kinder
show examples
garden and primary school.
On the other hand
, it might confuse
childern
Correct your spelling
children
from
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
separate each tongues. Everyone can claim that most of the
billingual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
and
pliglot
Correct your spelling
polyglot
pilot
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, but some points need further development. Try to elaborate more on the disadvantages to make a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is mostly coherent, but there are occasional confusing points due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should briefly outline the main points you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarise and reiterate your position.
task achievement
While you have provided some examples, try to include more specific and relevant ones to support your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to your argument, and it is relatively easy to follow the points you are making.
task achievement
You have used a relevant example which adds to the essay's persuasiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Primary school
  • Foreign language acquisition
  • Phonetic flexibility
  • Cultural immersion
  • Global citizenship
  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Early exposure
  • Pronunciation
  • Language pedagogy
  • Bilingual education
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum planning
  • Mother tongue
  • Native language competence
  • Language proficiency
  • Workload management
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!