Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them What are the problems related to do this? What are some possible solution?
In today's digital age, young
people
do not spend enough time
on take
care of elderly Change the verb form
taking
people
. This
problem
can lead to loneliness
and safety accidents
but can be addressed by use
of technology.
The underlying root of the Add an article
the use
problem
is almost caused by elderly person's
Fix the agreement mistake
people's
loneliness
. Despite fortune families
, the regrettable reality is that many old people
need more time
with their families
or children
rather than money which is spent on their bank account by children
. This
situation affects parents who have children
or daughter
Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
work
in a remote workplace that unusually Correct pronoun usage
who work
visit
them. Change the verb form
visits
As a result
, old people
may feel lonely because nobody around them to talk with. This
is true in Vietnam where most young people
choose to work in region
Replace the word
regional
company
for a huge salary Fix the agreement mistake
companies
that
those whose family Correct word choice
than
do
not Verb problem
have
meet
their Wrong verb form
met
children
for a long time
.
Another cause may be the accident that old people
can be effected
Correct your spelling
affected
.
Change preposition
by.
In other words
, today's elderly spend most of their time
alone at home, which means a lack of face-to-face interaction with other people
. Consequently
, elder people
may have the
Correct article usage
apply
accidents
when nobody around them such
as families
, neighbors
or supporters, showing a lack of safety for older Change the spelling
neighbours
people
's lifestyle. In Vietnam, most of
Change preposition
apply
accidents
are caused by old people
because they live alone so they do something risky while
there is no support around them.
Perhaps a solution to the problem
of loneliness
is to be found in the form of use
of technology that Correct article usage
the use
helping
the elderly to develop Change the form of the verb
helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
relationship
with their family. The most effective approach is to teach them skills to call for their Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
children
by
Change preposition
through
technologies
. Fix the agreement mistake
technology
This
situation lead
to motivating older Change the verb form
leads
people
to talk with their family any
Change preposition
at any
time
that make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
their
feel better and healthier. Strategies Correct pronoun usage
them
such
as Zalo, Facebook, facetime or messenger
Capitalize word
Messenger
that
allow users to have a video call Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
friends or Change preposition
with
families
for free and promote positive energy to old people
.
Thus
, it can be seen that elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
problem
result
in Change the verb form
results
loneliness
and accidents
. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in the form of use
of technology to Correct article usage
the use
motivating
old Wrong verb form
motivate
people
and increasing
their relationship with Wrong verb form
increase
family
.Add an article
the family
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure by organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief introduction and conclusion to provide clarity and summarization.
coherence cohesion
Thoroughly support main points with concrete examples and detailed explanations.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring no important aspect is left out.
task achievement
Expand on ideas for clearer comprehension, aiming for more detailed development.
task achievement
Provide specific, relevant examples to back up points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task, focusing on problems and solutions related to elderly care.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant and specific, connecting with the main points effectively.
task achievement
There is clear recognition of the problems of loneliness and accidents faced by the elderly.
task achievement
The use of technology as a solution is a valid and contemporary approach.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion reinforces the problems and suggests a clear solution, providing closure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.