The imbalance situation as more people compete in core careers. Education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is an increase in the number of students enrolling in core majors since many colleges have implemented free admission fees for everyone.
This
scheme has cultivated a highly qualified workforce and promoted scientific development. In Linking Words
this
essay, I Linking Words
also
discuss some cons of Linking Words
this
scheme and explain why I still agree with it.
On the one hand, free Linking Words
education
could generate more beneficial returns than charging tuition fees. Use synonyms
Initially
, more adolescents would pursue their academic career paths rather than participate in vocational training programs. Linking Words
As a result
, numerous qualified graduates might stimulate scientific development. Linking Words
For example
, the significant financial resources allocated for subsidizing Linking Words
education
by America's parliament are responsible for the number of intellectual licenses, which keep them in a leadership position in most scientific areas. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, proponents believe that financial educational assistance will provide equal opportunities for hardworking students in poverty by reducing financial pressure on learners and their families. Many industrialized countries, Linking Words
such
as Australia, have educational systems that are free for all citizens. Linking Words
Consequently
, there was a twofold increase in the number of scientific Australian bachelors since implementing free admission fees in their academic institutions.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, free Linking Words
education
still has minor drawbacks. The foremost issue is that people might lose motivation as they do not deliberately consider what field to pursue. Use synonyms
In other words
, they lack responsibility in choosing majors and dedicating efforts to justify the government's monetary sponsorship. Specifically, people have prioritized core occupations, including Information Technology and Banking Finance Linking Words
due to
extraordinary salaries and exceptional welfare. Linking Words
This
imbalance has generated higher competition in these core jobs Linking Words
while
creating a shortage of workforce in other occupations. Linking Words
For instance
, more Australian undergraduates have dropped out of their academic routes as they recognized their chosen job was not suitable for them. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
cannot be considered the optimal method because it leads to the waste of public finances and resources.
Linking Words
To conclude
, despite some cons of free Linking Words
education
, including the waste of resources and imbalance in recruitment markets, I still agree with Use synonyms
this
scheme as it trains high-quality bachelors and promotes the acquisition of intellectual licenses.Linking Words
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task achievement
Strive to maintain motivation and responsibility among students even in a free education system. Consider policies or mechanisms, such as career counseling or conditional funding based on academic performance, to ensure students remain dedicated to their chosen fields. Further detailing how these can be implemented could add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using stronger transition phrases. Sometimes the essay feels a bit segmented. Work on making smoother transitions between points to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
A slight refinement in phrasing would make your writing even more polished and nuanced. For instance, instead of saying 'generate more beneficial returns than charging tuition fees,' you could say 'yield greater benefits compared to tuition-based systems.' This touch of sophistication in language can elevate the quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. It effectively sets up the premise and follows through with well-supported arguments.
task achievement
Your use of real-life examples, such as the educational investments in America and Australia, adds weight and authenticity to your arguments. This greatly enhances the task response.
task achievement
You have successfully covered both the pros and cons of free education, which shows a balanced perspective and a thorough understanding of the topic. This is crucial for a high score in task achievement.