Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although
some
parents
prefer their
kids
who are 6 or 7 years old to stay home and play, others think it is better for their
kids
to go to
school
at a young
age
. In my opinion, I believe
children
should go to
school
and see the world. In
this
essay, I will discuss why
parents
want their
kids
to stay home or go to
school
and explain my opinion. Some people believe education is not essential for young
age
kids
, they should sit at home and have fun.
This
is because they think
kids
can not sit in a class and learn and they want to keep an eye on their
children
. To start with, some think it is almost impossible to control and convince
kids
to sit in a chair and study, they always have the energy to jump and play throughout their day.
Secondly
, some
parents
think teachers will not keep an eye on their
kids
and what they play with.
For example
, my nephew was playing with other
kids
at
school
, and he fell on her arm and broke it.
On the Other hand
, some think
kids
who go to
school
at a young
age
will get many benefits.
This
is because
kids
will improve their communication skills and their
ability
to learn will gain effect.
First,
children
will have the
ability
to meet new people other than family and make new friends, which will help them to make new friends and the
ability
to have a discussion and communicate with others.
In addition
to the first point, young
age
children
have the
ability
to learn more easily than 6 or 7 years old.
For instance
, I have a friend who started learning how to write code at a young
age
, now he has the
ability
to write in 13 programming languages and do frontend, backend, database and data science. In my point of view, going to
school
at a young
age
will give the kid a lot of opportunities in life, but
parents
pick a
school
that could provide quality for
kids
. In conclusion, some people believe
children
must enjoy themselves and have fun, others think it is an opportunity to start learning at a young
age
. For me, I believe they should study and learn before they get old.
Submitted by abdullahalsheeha18 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear outline of the essay's direction to better guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Aim to create paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, using appropriate linking words to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score, support main points with more detailed examples and explanations to demonstrate thorough understanding.
task achievement
In the task response, be sure that both sides of the argument are discussed equally and that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just at the end.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring each point more fully with specific details and explanations.
task achievement
Incorporate a variety of specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and make the essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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