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Band 6.5

Teachers are not as important as they used to be because of the choice of other alternatives for students, such as online teaching. To what extent to do you agree of disagree?

#teachers #choice #alternatives #students
Some
people
 say that online
classes
 are more popular nowadays,
while
 others think that in-person
classes
 are much more important. I disagree with the idea that online
classes
 are better because I believe that attending
classes
 in person is more productive.
Firstly
, young students often lack the maturity to be organized and study for many hours. There are many distractions today,
such
 as online games and social media, which make it almost impossible for a teenager to stay focused during an online
class
.
Similarly
, in a face-to-face
class
, you can talk to more
people
 and have different learning experiences about random subjects.
Additionally
, you can develop social skills.
On the other hand
, there are some advantages to having an online
class
. If
people
 do not have enough time to study during the usual
class
 hours, digital lessons can be an alternative to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 knowledge.
For instance
, older
people
 who want to improve the same skills for their resume. In conclusion,
although
 there are some advantages to having virtual sessions to upgrade some skills, in my opinion, the disadvantages of not being present in a real classroom or not having contact with new friends and exchanging experiences with more
people
 far outweigh the advantages. In the end, social contact and the proximity to the teacher in person are the most important things that the teacher leaves as a legacy to the student.
Submitted by lucianocamilot on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be done by using more transitional phrases and ensuring the ideas are interconnected.
task response
Try to expand on the points with more detailed explanations or examples to fully achieve the task response. For example, elaborate on how social skills developed in face-to-face classes can impact students' futures.
task response
The essay effectively includes both sides of the argument, which showcases balanced thinking.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, giving the essay a solid framework.
task response
Providing specific examples, such as older people wanting to improve their resumes, adds depth to the argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological revolution
  • access to information
  • self-learning
  • personalized learning paths
  • learning styles
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • traditional classrooms
  • flexibility
  • online education
  • commitments
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • mentorship
  • support
  • blended learning
  • guiding
  • facilitating
  • enhancing
  • quality of education
  • inspire and motivate
  • holistic educational experience
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