Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The predominant
technology
is believed to have an adverse impact on social connections in several ways. The writer agrees with the notion because technology
impairs factual contacts as well as
discrimination.
When it comes to technology
, there is little doubt that it deteriorates humanity's connection to reality. To explain simply, the technology
promotes a place where anonymity is appropriate and virtually every person wears artificial masks to disguise their identities so that they do not receive criticism. Hence
, citizens will soon end up failing to communicate in reality with only face-to-face conversations with naked facial features. For instance
, a survey in Vietnamese found that over 60% of users who heavily depend on social media face social disorders.
Another reason why the prevailing technology
is harmful is that inhabitants can be unfairly judged. That is
due to
the fact that it is the lack of censorship and the toxic community that enable misleading information, which is used as a tool to make money and affect celebrities' reputations. Furthermore
, juveniles are often the people who absorb information without appropriate knowledge and data; eventually, victims will be censured by an aggressive crowd which has no common sense of the actual facts. As a result
, the fame of many inhabitants is at risk of causing others to satisfy their demands and standards.
In conclusion, technology
poses a major threat to society's relationships due to
its influence on one's social skills as well as
blatantly unfair criticism. There is a need to alter the current technology
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task achievement
Try to create a clearer introduction that outlines your main points. This will help the reader understand the structure of your essay from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to this idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more frequently to make the essay more cohesive. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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