Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a common belief that interacting with others
by
Change preposition
through
the
high-tech devices Correct article usage
apply
affect
the quality of relationships. From my perspective, I am against Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
this
statement due to
the benefit of connecting to distant relatives and saving our time
.
It is acknowledged that long distance is one of the most common obstacles that prevent citizens from communicating with another
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
. In the past, individuals were pretend
to use primitive methods of chatting like Change the verb form
pretended
wrote
Wrong verb form
writing
the
letters or Correct article usage
apply
travelled
to have Wrong verb form
travelling
a
Correct article usage
apply
meeting
. Obviously, it was awkward and sometimes Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
was
risky. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, the development of technology is increasing
vital in an ever-changing world, communication is now accessible and suitable for all Change the word
increasingly
people
around. Take the example of having a video call, individual is capable of talking realistically with each other instead
of having a face-to-face gathering. It ensures the standard of the talk time
, even the intercity communications.
Another point worth consideration
is that state-of-the-art communication gadgets are willing to save Replace the word
considering
time
or energy for people
. To be specific, dwellers do not have to arrange time
schedule for their Correct article usage
a time
meeting
and postpone Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
another activity
. Fix the agreement mistake
other activities
Additionally
, people
also
save another costs
Replace the adjective
another cost
other costs
such
as transports
or patrol fees. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
For instance
, sitting at
a comfortable position with Change preposition
in
the
mobile phone Correct article usage
a
is allow
a person Wrong verb form
allows
communicate
with friends for hours, Fix the infinitive
to communicate
this
solution is far more economic
than the Replace the word
economical
tradition
one.
Replace the word
traditional
To conclude
, communication is
changed positively Verb problem
has
due to
the development of technology. Moreover
, people
need to support and encourage to
the use of those gadgets.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, phrases like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'In contrast' can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While your essay covers the topic, aim to provide a more in-depth analysis of your main points. Expanding on examples and exploring counterarguments can help to create a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately by discussing the impact of modern communication technology on social relationships, and provided relevant examples to support your points.