IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationship.To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, society prefers having networked
communication
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 and must face consequences in relationships. The essay agrees that up-to-date
communication
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 brings bad life accomplishments and a change in behaviour.
To begin
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 with, the community is addicted to numerous wired apps that may affect their speaking prowess.
Due to
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 society are more
become
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apply
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introverted and do not have the dexterity or experience to talk with friends, family and other relationships. Following by, they easily lack confidence resulting in real conservation becoming enthusiastic.
As a result
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, the new generation easily does not concentrate on talking with each other and the rate of speaking artistry in the youth has decreased significantly.
Therefore
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, it is easy to understand why the value of friendship is declining these days Another factor is that when the public spends too much time on networked apps
instead
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 of keeping in touch with their contacts leads to the crowd not having any memories of relationships. When the memories go through day by day, the crowd need to make lots of unforgettable memories to replace
due to
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 the fact that these new experiences will improve interrelationships. In conclusion, the consequence that cons mission through networked apps brings about a decrease in life artistry and connection weakness. The decline in conversational skills and the erosion of meaningful experiences highlight the need for individuals to strike a balance between digital
communication
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 and face-to-face interaction. By fostering awareness and mindfulness in our
communication
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 habits, we can preserve the richness of human connection in an increasingly digital world.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide clear examples and evidence to support your points. This will help in illustrating your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of the essay. While the ideas are present, they need to be linked more cohesively to lead to a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and try to diversify your vocabulary. This will not only help in clarity but also keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly outline the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains a clear stance on the issue and attempts to support it with reasons and examples, showing a good effort in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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