Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus.Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
I strongly agree with
this
opinion that some majors
like art
are important and the educational system should put them on their education plan for these reasons that art
subjects
are as important as other subjects
and many students
are looking forward to continuing some majors
like music and theatre.
As far as arts
in educational goals are as necessary as science is in the study area it could be so helpful for students
future to improve their abilities in these categories. Having opportunities for children and adolescents to learn and know other kinds of subjects
in school absolutely develops their mindset and style of thinking about what they want to be when they grow up. For example
, a student who is studying in a manual school with the general types
of basic information does not have any idea of arts
or being an artist; However
, another student in other schools
that has another type of subjects
like art
matters can try more things that can be the reason of being an artist or find its talent also
improve them. So developing art
majors
is a perfect idea for students
.
Some students
around the world are so keen on learning some art
majors
while
their schools
do not teach these types
of subjects
. do not have a majority of different materials in schools
these days it is a huge problem and leads to children going towards Arts
schools
that are teaching arts
in professional ways so if schools
start these art
courses, educating would be much easier and more enjoyable for children. For example
, if a child sees the school that he or she is going to has a lot of types
of different subjects
for education, it could make this
child more excited for education and educating with love has a better effect on life and future.
In conclusion, arts
stuff are necessary to develop as much as other types
of educational matters and also
can be helpful for finding talents in schools
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task prompt, but there is still room for improvement. Ensure that every main point is fully developed and clearly articulated.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Work on improving the fluidity between different points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to the overall argument. This will help in presenting a more cohesive essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing the significance of arts in education.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and relevant to the topic, showcasing a solid understanding of the subject matter.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite