(QG) Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals are in a dilemma of balancing between spending
time
Use synonyms
on themselves and the elderly.
This
Linking Words
phenomenon may result from the amount of working
time
Use synonyms
and the effect of the elderly on young
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can be resolved by having the public and government take part in improving facilities for the elderly. It should be acknowledged that the main problem leading to
this
Linking Words
situation is the amount of
time
Use synonyms
that employers require for the work. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
suffer from long working hours that they even have no or little
time
Use synonyms
to spend with their family.
However
Linking Words
, the caring job, especially for the elderly, demands a large number of hours and
also
Linking Words
patience.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have less
time
Use synonyms
for looking after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age and lack of attention to them can lead to misunderstanding of their needs and lower both their physical and mental health. Another problem that should be considered is that most
people
Use synonyms
will become aggressive and rude when they get to the age of sixties. Because of the absence of many memory fields and some linking neurons, the elderly have no intention in their actions and they sometimes annoy their supporters suddenly.
According to
Linking Words
research published by VNExpress in 2001, young
people
Use synonyms
were likely to be upset with the bad behaviours of old
people
Use synonyms
and around 50% of these actions were not what the older did
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
to express.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the work of looking after elders is more complicated for supporters and some must-not-have situations can
be occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
by
Change preposition
due
show examples
having rudeness in old
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, these problems can be tackled by having community
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for the elderly. By meeting their peers or someone who has undergone a similar situation, they can share their hobbies and stories of their life with others.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel less lonely and
also
Linking Words
their relatives who have responsibility for taking care of them have more spare
time
Use synonyms
to take a rest. Many applications of
this
Linking Words
sort of community service are taken into account and saw a successful result in Vietnam.
To sum up
Linking Words
, balancing work and caring is tough because of the long working
time
Use synonyms
and how aggressively old age
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
These can have practices to minimize the effect on the elderly and younger by raising funds for community centres for them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on adhering to a more logical and clear essay structure. For instance, start with a clear introduction, followed by separate paragraphs that discuss different problems and solutions in more depth, and then conclude effectively.
task achievement
Increase clarity by ensuring each problem and solution is clearly and comprehensively explained. Some ideas were a bit difficult to follow due to vague descriptions.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This enhances the richness and depth of your essay, making your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and provide multiple perspectives on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: