In some countries criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch. Do the advantages of allowing this overweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in some countries have shown criminal
trials
in law courts on television that all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people can see
this
program.
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are some advantages and some disadvantages about.
to begin
with , almost most criminal
trials
are about
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
problems ,
such
as theft and
fight
Correct subject-verb agreement
fights
show examples
.
in other words
, most people are familiar with these criminal
trials
.
Hence
, it has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
bad effect on their lives.
on the other hand
, these can be a few examples for them to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not these criminals. because some
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
get
temptation
Add an article
the temptation
show examples
to do wrong things sometimes.
therefore
, it can be useful for them.
Although
these
trials
are good
to understand
Change preposition
for understanding
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
,
these
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children. since in terms of mental , it causes
bas
Correct your spelling
bad
show examples
impact on their mind .
In addition
, they may learn
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
wide variety of
criminls
Correct your spelling
crimes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
low ages.
Thus
, if they can not control their emotions , they will do some
criminals
Fix the agreement mistake
criminal
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
. in my opinion , governments should show these criminal
trials
in
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
programs which
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
adults can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. even though it is hard and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
needs
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a big
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
create
this
situation. I for one , am not interested in these programs . but if someone
likes
Correct pronoun usage
likes them
show examples
, he can follow these applications and watch
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
issue is a personality
decide
Replace the word
decision
show examples
.
to sum up
,
according to
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages of
this
topic , if I were
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
, I would create a specific board to show.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance paragraph structure by creating clearer distinctions between individual points and connecting them with appropriate linking words.
Task Achievement
Develop main ideas with specific examples or explanations to reinforce arguments and improve relevancy.
General linguistic accuracy
Review grammatical structures and avoid run-on sentences to enhance clarity and accuracy.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
The opinion and recommendation section is well-stated, making the writer's stance clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: