Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?
Activities
done in groups or teams can teach more important skills for life compared to activities
done alone. I will outline in this
essay why I agree on the importance of group
activities
.
First and foremost, group
and team
activities
will strengthen social behaviour and team
spirit. Moreover
, being in a group
enhances empathy and acceptance of others, which plays a major role in personal and business life. In addition
, participating in a team
requires every team
member to support each other and target the same goal. For example
, in a racing team
, each member has certain roles and they need to fulfil the right tasks at the right time and often even in the right sequence to let the team
win the race.
On the other hand
, activities
done alone do not enhance any of the already mentioned skills and can lead to serious behavioural shortcomings if practised too excessively. Furthermore
, it can be observed that in families with only one child, a higher tendency towards those activities
exists. For example
, many kids like to play computer games alone every day for hours, which makes them secluded from society and, therefore
, not develop important social skills.
In conclusion, preferring group
and team
activities
like soccer, cricket or singing in a chorus over activities
done alone brings many benefits. Attending team
activities
is very important for children and parents should provide sufficient time for it in their kid's busy schedules. Finally
, team
and group
activities
should be part of every human's activities
.Submitted by woigl on
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coherence cohesion
Your logical structure in the essay is generally good, but can be improved by providing clear transitions between ideas and ensuring a more consistent flow throughout the essay. Focus on using linking words effectively to guide the reader from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
You successfully included both an introduction and conclusion which is commendable. Try to ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points discussed and reiterates your position without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
You presented main points to support your argument, but they could be further enhanced by deeper analysis and more varied sentence structures. Aim to expand on your points with additional detail or perspectives to add depth to your argument.
task achievement
You addressed the task and provided a clear response to the prompt. You could further improve by ensuring every aspect of the prompt is addressed comprehensively, leaving no room for ambiguity about your stance.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, and you articulate your agreement with the statement well. Work on making your reasoning more comprehensive by exploring potential counterarguments and providing a balanced view.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is good, but they could be made more relevant and varied to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay. Incorporating a range of examples from different contexts will improve the depth of your argument and demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
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