Some people think that online learning is more effective and convenient for student, while others believe that traditional classroom learning is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
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have discussed
to
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apply
show examples
online
education
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since entered our
life
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lives
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in
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during
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pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
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.
While
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some
people
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claim that online learning is more effective and convenient for
students
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, others claim that traditional classroom learning is better. I strongly agree with the second part and in
this
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essay
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essay,
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both views will be discussed and my own opinion will be stated. On the one hand, online
education
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is more suitable because it has more flexible conditions. Teachers can teach wherever and whenever want
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
band together
their
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with their
show examples
students
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.
Students
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can
also
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participate even if they are far away. Some
students
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have to wake up very early because their homes
far
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are far
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away
to
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from
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school.
Thus
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these
students
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don’t have to go long distances thanks to online
education
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.
On the other hand
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, traditional
education
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is more effective and convenient for
students
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because
teacher
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teachers
show examples
and
students
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can contact
Correct pronoun usage
them direct
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direct
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directly
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.
Students
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become socialize with their friends because
of
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apply
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they go to school and they learn to live together.
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Also
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Also,
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physical facilities are made in
school
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schools
show examples
and teachers teach more
effective
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effectively
show examples
in
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
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environment. To my mind, traditional classroom
education
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more
Add a missing verb
is more
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beneficial because everyone can’t
reach
Verb problem
access
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to internet and
electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
devices.
this
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is a big problem
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in poor countries. Many
students
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couldn’t participate
to
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in
show examples
lessons
in
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during
show examples
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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because
of
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apply
show examples
they didn’t have internet. Most of the other
students
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didn’t care
to
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about
show examples
lessons
Correct article usage
the lessons
show examples
.
According to
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research conducted,
students
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don’t like online lessons, they want to go to their schools.
To sum up
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, there are different ideas and some
people
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support
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
education
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,
other
Correct word choice
but other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
want to stay
traditional
Change preposition
in traditional
show examples
eudcation
Correct your spelling
education
.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, you need to support your points with more specific examples. Mention specific studies, experiences, or detailed scenarios to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Some points could be further detailed to provide a clearer argument. This includes elaboration on how physical facilities in traditional education enhance learning effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence and cohesion by using more linking words and phrases. This will help to better connect your ideas and sentences. For instance, use phrases like 'however', 'on the contrary', 'moreover', etc.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with sentence structure and grammar. Avoid repetitive sentences and try to use a variety of sentences. Proofreading your work will help avoid small inaccuracies and awkward phrasings.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a rough structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure to clearly outline your points in each section and maintain consistency in paragraph development.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument, which is essential in a discussion essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes the discussed points and reiterates your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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