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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others ,however, Believe that school is the place to learn this. Discussion both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #discussion
One school of thought holds that
parents
 should teach their offspring how to become good citizens in the future,
while
 others believe that schools should fulfil
this
 mission.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of
this
 tendency before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand,
children
 are educated on how to become useful inhabitants through their
parents
 could be advantageous to a certain extent.
Firstly
, parental influence is substantial in moulding a child’s character and values during their formative years.
For instance
, it is often seen that there is a higher probability of a crime committed by young generations who have been in an abusive environment or whose
parents
 were either previous offenders or showed a careless attitude.
Secondly
, kids frequently have the tendency to copy their
parents
' behaviour.
This
 perspective could be
further
 by the fact that a child's first teacher is their parent thereby,
parents
 would serve as role models for their
children
, so if they become good citizens in the community, their child should be the same.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that young individuals should be taught how to be good subjects by educational institutions. One key rationale in favour of
this
 view is that young people spend more time in the school environment than at home. Specifically,
parents
 nowadays are always occupied with their occupations and frequently spend the whole day in their office.
Therefore
, the person who interacts most with
children
 is their teacher, so they have a highly positive influence on youngsters. Another justification is that the structured learning environment allows teachers to efficiently impart essential life lessons to students.
This
 is because tutors would know how to convey information to their pupils in an effective way,
instead
 of
parents
 who just do that based on their instincts, and sometimes it would cause serious conflicts between
parents
 and their
children
due to
 misunderstandings with each other. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that
parents
 should guide their offspring on how to be helpful humans in the future, I would contend that schools could do that task better.
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task achievement
You've made a substantial effort to address the prompt, presenting both sides of the argument and offering your opinion. However, the example regarding crime and parental influence could be more specific to bolster your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve the coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next one. For instance, using more transitional phrases could make the flow of ideas even clearer.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This can make your arguments more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by highlighting the key points of both perspectives before making your own opinion clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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