The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The chart illustrates the proportion of
visitors
to two sites namely Pop Parade and Music Choice over the span of 15 days.
Overall
, the number of
visits
to both sites increased throughout the entire period of time.
Additionally
, Pop Parade was more popular than Music Choice during
this
time except for a couple of days. As can be seen from the line graph, Pop Parade started with just under 120
thousand
visitors
and remained still until the third
day
, and
then
witnessed a significant drop to nearly 40
thousand
visits
on the seventh
day
.
Subsequently
, after a slight rise for two days, the number of
visits
surged considerably to 150
thousand
visits
on
day
11. Again the
visits
met a decline to about 80.000 till the thirteenth
day
and
finally
, the number of
visitors
increased dramatically to 170
thousand
visitors
. The Music Choice site,
On the other hand
, started with only 40,000
visits
and
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
to 60,000
visits
on the third
day
.
Then
it oscillated until
day
11 and experienced a dramatic increase to 120,000
visits
and surpassed the other site. And in the end, it fell significantly to less than 80
thousand
visitors
.
Submitted by fati.p98n on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, visits, thousand, day with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Music sites
  • Web traffic
  • Number of visits
  • Trend analysis
  • Initial phase
  • Steady increase
  • Fluctuations
  • Significant change
  • Peaks
  • Turning point
  • Growth rate
  • Seasonal variation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Long-term trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: