More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. what do you think are the causes of this? can you suggest some possible solutions?
In
this
revolutionary world, constant worry is inevitable and working trends at offices have contributed majorly to these apprehensions. The reasons for stress could be an inability to take a break at work
or poor time
management; these are a couple of causes out of many. In this
essay
we will discuss these concerns and answers to these problems.
Add a comma
essay,
Firstly
, being able to relax at work
is not a luxury but a necessity. For instance
, a
research was conducted in year 2018 by Correct article usage
apply
Wall
Street Correct article usage
the Wall
journal
in New York, which proved that organizations offering Capitalize word
Journal
time
out to its
employees had more than 72% success rate Correct pronoun usage
their
at the end
of the week, as compared to companies which were overburdening their staff eventually leading to a burn out ratio of approximately 36%. In my opinion
the most obvious answer observing these statistics would be to install massage chairs and gaming areas in offices, and Add a comma
opinion,
time
slots could be assigned to each worker so they can work
efficiently.
Secondly
, it was a very common practice in past to take pending work
at home. By doing this
people were weighed down, leading to physical as well as
mental exhaustion, and ultimately an increase in hospitalizations. This
is best proven by a health survey carried out by Harvard
Correct article usage
the Harvard
school
of Capitalize word
School
medicine
on employees working in stock markets in Manhattan; more than 46% of workers had poor discipline when it came to Capitalize word
Medicine
work
-life balance leading to early retirements. To overcome this
matter, many businesses improvised their rules and time
management was taught to employees to finish assignments before signing out.
To conclude
, in this
competitive world where everyone is thriving
to succeed, Verb problem
striving
the
psychological stress can lead to major health issues because of being overstrained and poor Correct article usage
apply
time
management. Therefore
, it is very important to have a work
-life balance to have a happy work
environment.Submitted by hnm0804 on
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task achievement
Try to further refine the introduction by explicitly stating the causes you will discuss, i.e., inability to take breaks and poor time management.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the solutions provided, such as how exactly time management can be taught or examples of effective time management strategies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Adding a few transition phrases can further improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as mentioning the Wall Street Journal and Harvard School of Medicine studies.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph addressing a specific cause or solution for work-related stress.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?