IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Today,
traffic
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 jams are a severely disturbing phenomenon in some overpopulated urbanized cities. Some
people
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 argue that privately owned vehicles should be disallowed to enter city centres. Others,
however
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, disagree and believe that it will not be a viable solution. In
this
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 context, it is a matter of debate. On the one hand,
people
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 in favour of prohibiting privately registered
cars
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 argue that
traffic
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 congestion was originally created by the immense numbers of citizens' vehicles.
In addition
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, some
people
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 in fact own multiple
cars
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 or even more.
For instance
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, a single household may obtain more than one car for each family member and drive separately to a gathering in the city centre. In his book, Urban Catastrophe, Dr Victor Sam discusses
this
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 issue by saying, “Over 90% of London population own multiple
cars
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 and
then
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people
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 wonder, why
such
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 a problem exists?”
Consequently
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, it has been advocated for a
while
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 to simply disallow ordinary
people
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’s
cars
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 from approaching the mid-town.
On the other hand
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, the argument seems to be absurd and lacks comprehension of the true nature of the issue.
Firstly
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,
people
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 should not be responsible for the faulty planning and structuring done by loose authority in the first place.
In other words
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, restricting citizens from their basic rights because of shabby
traffic
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 designs is, absolutely, reprehensible. The government should work on logical and viable solutions
such
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 as the newly designed highway bridges in Egypt,
for example
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,
instead
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 of turning their backs and blaming
people
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’s properties.
To conclude
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, it is understandable to look thoroughly into the ever-rising
traffic
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 congestion hurdle. Whether banning the vehicles of the community to abreast city centres would be realistic or not, is still arguable amongst decision-makers. Personally, I tend to appreciate
people
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’s right to own and move freely without any restrictions.

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complete response
Consider exploring counterarguments in more depth to further strengthen the discussion.
logical structure
Maintain the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs or adding linking phrases.
supported main points
While the main points are well-supported, consider adding more specific data or examples to further substantiate your claims.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
logical structure
Each paragraph addresses different perspectives on the issue, showing balanced reasoning.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Dr. Victor Sam's book and the highway bridges in Egypt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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