IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today,
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams are a severely disturbing phenomenon in some overpopulated urbanized cities. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that privately owned vehicles should be disallowed to enter city centres. Others,
however
Linking Words
, disagree and believe that it will not be a viable solution. In
this
Linking Words
 context, it is a matter of debate. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 in favour of prohibiting privately registered
cars
Use synonyms
 argue that
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion was originally created by the immense numbers of citizens' vehicles.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 in fact own multiple
cars
Use synonyms
 or even more.
For instance
Linking Words
, a single household may obtain more than one car for each family member and drive separately to a gathering in the city centre. In his book, Urban Catastrophe, Dr Victor Sam discusses
this
Linking Words
 issue by saying, “Over 90% of London population own multiple
cars
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 wonder, why
such
Linking Words
 a problem exists?”
Consequently
Linking Words
, it has been advocated for a
while
Linking Words
 to simply disallow ordinary
people
Use synonyms
’s
cars
Use synonyms
 from approaching the mid-town.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the argument seems to be absurd and lacks comprehension of the true nature of the issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should not be responsible for the faulty planning and structuring done by loose authority in the first place.
In other words
Linking Words
, restricting citizens from their basic rights because of shabby
traffic
Use synonyms
 designs is, absolutely, reprehensible. The government should work on logical and viable solutions
such
Linking Words
 as the newly designed highway bridges in Egypt,
for example
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of turning their backs and blaming
people
Use synonyms
’s properties.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is understandable to look thoroughly into the ever-rising
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion hurdle. Whether banning the vehicles of the community to abreast city centres would be realistic or not, is still arguable amongst decision-makers. Personally, I tend to appreciate
people
Use synonyms
’s right to own and move freely without any restrictions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

complete response
Consider exploring counterarguments in more depth to further strengthen the discussion.
logical structure
Maintain the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs or adding linking phrases.
supported main points
While the main points are well-supported, consider adding more specific data or examples to further substantiate your claims.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
logical structure
Each paragraph addresses different perspectives on the issue, showing balanced reasoning.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Dr. Victor Sam's book and the highway bridges in Egypt.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic
  • city center
  • ban
  • cars
  • drive
  • public transport
  • buses
  • trains
  • walk
  • bike
  • shop
  • area
  • space
  • safe
  • air
  • noise
  • cost
  • fair
  • rule
  • zone
  • hours
  • charge
  • plan
  • city
  • people
  • work
  • option
  • idea
  • result
What to do next:
Look at other essays: