Everywhere we go, we are surrounded by advertisements. Some people think that advertisements can affect our thinking and that it can have a negative influence on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advertisements #people #influence #lives

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days,

advertisements

are common

things

that we see

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

However

, some

people

believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

have

downside

Add an article

a downside

show examples

in our lives and

also

can influence our thinking. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that, I think the effects of

advertisements

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

depend on the individual,

while

the

advertisements

are

Change the verb form

also have

show examples

also

have

a benefits

Correct the article-noun agreement

benefits

a benefit

show examples

another sector

Fix the agreement mistake

other sectors

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

. Here

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is my explanation.

Firstly

, in order to affect

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

mind

Correct subject-verb agreement

minds

show examples

, I think

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

only

effects

Verb problem

affect

show examples

the choice of certain

things

Change preposition

show examples

what

we have

payed

Correct your spelling

paid

show examples

attention

with

Change preposition

show examples

. So, I think, it only influences our choice not related to our way of thinking.

Secondly

, sometimes the

advertisements

delivers

Change the verb form

deliver

show examples

in creative ways, where it needs to be unique to get the

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

attention.

Moreover

this

can add information or references for

people

according

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apply

show examples

in order to create something.

Thirdly

, the

is a part of the business which is it can increase the opportunity in terms of selling

things

. With the increasing of income in the business it can lead the business to expand which can open more jobs. So, the

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

a positive side related to

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

the economy. In conclusion,

while

there are some claims

Correct word choice

that

show examples

the

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

in ways

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

thinking

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

and

lives

Correct subject-verb agreement

live

show examples

, actually

it doesn't

Wrong verb form

don't

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

thinking skills and

also

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have good benefits

too

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. The

only

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

the

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

choice of certain

things

and

also

sometimes the idea in the

can be references to do

another

Replace the adjective

another thing

other things

show examples

things

and it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

benefits in increasing the economy.

Submitted by rlsatria on Fri May 31 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and expresses a clear position. However, you could strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical and syntactical errors that slightly affect clarity and coherence. Working on your grammar and sentence structures will improve the overall quality of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow between your paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases can help make the progression of your ideas smoother.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your response.

task achievement

You have made a commendable effort to explain your points and discuss both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?