some people think that tachnolongy is now an invalubable study tools for young people other believe that it is harmful for the studing. dicuss both thses views and give your own opinion.

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Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
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access
Add a missing verb
have access
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to
technology
for studying and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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information. most people believe
tech
has
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
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advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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,
while
an immense
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
think it has
Add an article
a drawback
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drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. I will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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and write my opinion. In recent years,
technology
has myriad benefits for
students
,
school
Correct word choice
and school
show examples
life when they are using
technology
.
Therefore
,
Student
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Students
show examples
by using
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a device
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device
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devices
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that they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can solve
Add an article
the problem
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problem
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problems
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easily
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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as well. Computers
one
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are one
show examples
of the tach materials for
students
and
teacher
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teachers
show examples
.
moreover
,
student
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students
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that during study
using
Wrong verb form
use
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computer
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computers
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for homework and research. For
instants
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instance
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, all of
students
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the students
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in university and school send homework and research
for
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to
show examples
the
teacher
by computer
as
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and
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well
teacher
give
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gives
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feedback to them
by
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with
show examples
these
tech
materials. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, it is very good for
student
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the student
a student
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using
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to use
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tech
materials that
conducive
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are conducive
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to
improve
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improving
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their skills and increasing mothed.
In
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On
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the other hand, there are many disadvantages to using
technology
tools. Schools allow
students
which they are using
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to use
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mobile
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a mobile
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phone
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phones
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or
computer
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computers
show examples
so it might be
harm
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harmful
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for
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to
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their study process.
Furthermore
, in school
student
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students
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have
contract
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contracts
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to
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with
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each other so during study they
are playing
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play
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video games or send
video
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videos
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for
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to
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each other
in
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on
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social media. As
result
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a result
show examples
, using
technology
between
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among
show examples
students
very
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is very
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popular so
student
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students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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use
tech
for fan they cannot improve
in
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apply
show examples
their
life
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lives
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. In conclusion,
although
, many individuals think
technology
has
negative
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a negative
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impact
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a vast number of people believe it is helpful for
student
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students
show examples
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
using
tech
in
right
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the right
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way has a lot of
advantage
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advantages
show examples
and nowadays it is very important
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
students
access
Add a missing verb
have access
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the issue, which is essential. However, it would be helpful to introduce your own opinion more clearly in the introduction and to elaborate on it further in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but sometimes they are not fully developed. Try to expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples to make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, but try to improve the flow between paragraphs to make your essay more cohesive. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Some of your points lack support and examples. To improve, add specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views on the topic, which is a key requirement for this task.
coherence cohesion
Having an introduction and conclusion is good practice and adds to the structure of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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