some people think that tachnolongy is now an invalubable study tools for young people other believe that it is harmful for the studing. dicuss both thses views and give your own opinion.
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
access
to Add a missing verb
have access
technology
for studying and give
information. most people believe Wrong verb form
giving
tech
has Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
advantage
, Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
while
an immense people
think it has Correct quantifier usage
number of people
Add an article
a drawback
drawback
. I will discuss both Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
side
and write my opinion.
In recent years, Change to a plural noun
sides
technology
has myriad benefits for students
, school
life when they are using Correct word choice
and school
technology
. Therefore
, Student
by using Fix the agreement mistake
Students
Add an article
a device
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
that they
can solve Correct pronoun usage
apply
Add an article
the problem
problem
easily Fix the agreement mistake
problems
in
everywhere Change preposition
apply
and
Correct word choice
apply
teacher
as well. Computers Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
one
of the tach materials for Add a missing verb
are one
students
and teacher
. Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
moreover
, student
that during study Fix the agreement mistake
students
using
Wrong verb form
use
computer
for homework and research. For Fix the agreement mistake
computers
instants
, all of Replace the word
instance
students
in university and school send homework and research Add an article
the students
for
the Change preposition
to
teacher
by computer as
well Correct word choice
and
teacher
give
feedback to them Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
by
these Change preposition
with
tech
materials. As result
, it is very good for Correct article usage
a result
student
Add an article
the student
a student
using
Change the verb form
to use
tech
materials that conducive
to Add a missing verb
are conducive
improve
their skills and increasing mothed.
Wrong verb form
improving
In
the other hand, there are many disadvantages to using Change preposition
On
technology
tools. Schools allow students
which they are using
Wrong verb form
to use
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
phone
or Fix the agreement mistake
phones
computer
so it might be Fix the agreement mistake
computers
harm
Replace the word
harmful
for
their study process. Change preposition
to
Furthermore
, in school student
have Fix the agreement mistake
students
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
to
each other so during study they Change preposition
with
are playing
video games or send Wrong verb form
play
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
for
each other Change preposition
to
in
social media. As Change preposition
on
result
, using Correct article usage
a result
technology
between
Change preposition
among
students
very
popular so Add a missing verb
is very
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
that
use Correct pronoun usage
who
tech
for fan they cannot improve in
their Change preposition
apply
life
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
although
, many individuals think technology
has negative
impact Correct article usage
a negative
while
a vast number of people believe it is helpful for Correct word choice
apply
student
. In my Fix the agreement mistake
students
opinion
using Add a comma
opinion,
tech
in right
way has a lot of Add an article
the right
advantage
and nowadays it is very important Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
to
Change preposition
for to
students
access
to Add a missing verb
have access
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
.Submitted by hsmkashi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the issue, which is essential. However, it would be helpful to introduce your own opinion more clearly in the introduction and to elaborate on it further in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but sometimes they are not fully developed. Try to expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples to make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, but try to improve the flow between paragraphs to make your essay more cohesive. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Some of your points lack support and examples. To improve, add specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views on the topic, which is a key requirement for this task.
coherence cohesion
Having an introduction and conclusion is good practice and adds to the structure of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.