Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
Nowadays, many individuals believe that
professionals
like engineers and doctors should work
in the nation where they are trained while
on the other side, people trust that they should have the freedom of movement for these professionals
to choose the place to work
. After considering both of the statements in this
notion, from my perspective, the lack of a second notion will be a part of disapproval of sending experts abroad
To begin
with, it can be a waste of finance for the government if highly skilled people move to where they want with the freedom. This
is because governments often offer an amount of money to invest significant resources in education and training programs with some preference categories such
as medicine or engineering. For example
, in Vietnam, the educational system always has the help of finance for undergraduates to study for a master’s degree, as it can be seen that the government dissipate their funding when these professionals
immigrate. Therefore
, when high professionals
leave the country
where they are educated, this
country
faces a shortage of skilled professionals
, affecting not only in own economic growth but also
in overall
development.
However
, the opponents of this
idea argue that the diversity of work
and opportunities easily approach professionals
who have vast knowledge, but the facilities and pay are not up in their country
. For
this
reason, it will be easier for their living standards to gradually improve and line of attack to the large information when they choose to settle and work
abroad. This
point may be true, but the difference in culture can be a serious problem that foreign settlers can acquire and suffer from psychological diseases.
This
writer believes that the movement of these professionals
is unnecessary. The development of the economy and jobs in some nations are attracting the worker’s attention. This
is due to
the fact that,
every career and change will be kept open and improved reasonably with their capacity. Because of Remove the comma
apply
this
, professionals
In conclusion, having considered both sides of the argument, I am fully convinced that the movement of professionals
will have a negative influence not only on the economy but also
affect the culture of this
country
. I believe that everything will develop to support professionals
more and more even though they just need to work
in the country
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, some of your main points are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. To improve, try to include more detailed examples and elaborate on your main points in greater depth. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay are fairly strong, as you successfully transition between ideas and paragraphs. However, some sentences are difficult to understand due to awkward phrasing. Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity to ensure that your ideas are communicated effectively. This will help improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your task response is complete and covers both sides of the argument, but the ideas are sometimes not comprehensively developed. Make sure to fully elaborate on every point you make and support them with relevant examples or evidence. This will add depth to your essay and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow and understand your main points.
task achievement
You have effectively touched upon both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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