Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #impacts #effects

These days,

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can be accessed so

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

many people and especially

children

can access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

a computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

play

games

from

Change preposition

show examples

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

. In

this

case

Add a comma

case,

show examples

some problems arise.

This

issue will be discussed in

this

essay

along with

some possible solutions that may be implemented to alleviate the problem. Some troubles to

came

Change the form of the verb

come

show examples

, since

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

have

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

widespread. One of those, kids have

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

asocialized

Correct your spelling

socialized

socialised

, they move away from physical

games

and they don’t go out day by day because they have been spending a lot of time with

computer

Correct article usage

a computer

show examples

from

little

Correct word choice

a young

show examples

age. The other problem, when

children

play kind of war, fight and action

games

children

have been

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

agressive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

in the process of time and they

reflect

Verb problem

relate

show examples

games

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life. Kids’

psychlogy

Correct your spelling

psychology

negatively affects because of

computer

games

. First and

firemost

Correct your spelling

foremost

, every

children

are important

for

Change preposition

show examples

their parents and family. To solve these problems,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

should not be allowed to spend too much time on the

computer

games

Children

should have certain play times.

For example

, half or one hour a day. When the game finishes, kids should

be gone

Wrong verb form

show examples

outside and they are

socialized

Wrong verb form

socialise

show examples

Change preposition

for at

show examples

least one hour. Another possible solution; kids should play more entertaining and more colourful

games

instead

of war,

fight

Replace the word

fighting

show examples

and containing

violance

Correct your spelling

violence

violent

games

Thus

children

are kept away from severity. Put in a nutshell, sometimes

accessibility

Correct article usage

the accessibility

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

can be dangerous for

children

. Parents should be

conscios

Correct your spelling

conscious

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

show examples

their

children

from

computer

’s

potantial

Correct your spelling

potential

potentially

dangerous

Replace the word

dangers

show examples

Submitted by svdnruslu on Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the main topic and presents both the negative impacts of playing computer games and potential solutions. However, the response could be more comprehensive, with further elaboration on points discussed.

task achievement

Some sentences are unclear and contain grammatical errors. Try to proofread your essay to avoid these issues and improve the clarity of ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. Sometimes, the ideas are not fully developed, which weakens the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of the text.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your main points stronger by providing specific examples and detailed explanations. This will improve the cohesiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.

coherence cohesion

The writer makes an effort to address both the negative impacts of playing computer games and potential solutions, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
eye strain
inappropriate content
social skills
isolation
academic performance
time limits
parental supervision
age-appropriate
physical activities
digital literacy
balanced computer usage
excessive gaming

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Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (eg: uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 250 words.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?