Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The adverse impact of the usage of computers and mobile phones for
communication
has been a
debateable
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debatable
matter for quite a few years. I personally disagree with
such
statement
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a statement
show examples
because the benefit of online
communication
has more to offer than the disadvantages
alongside
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apply
show examples
. Aside from that,
people
considered
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are considered
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to have
a
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apply
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real offline
communication
than online. Nowadays, negative
impression
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impressions
show examples
towards gadgets are being discussed all over the world.
For instance
,
people
said online communications could lead individuals to laziness in terms of real-time conversation. We can just simply put out our mobile phone and start a conversation instantly even when they are
in
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on
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the
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a
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different side of the world.
Consequently
, that instance would make individuals not
considering
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consider
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a real-life
converse
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conversation
show examples
with one another.
Moreover
, online
communication
would lead to a bigger chance of crimes. Criminals are now moving to online
platfrom
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platform
platforms
to do fraud, they are pretending to be someone's relatives to trick them for some money. It can easily be done
due to
many
informations
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information
that online
platform
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platforms
show examples
have in store.
Nonetheless
, those negative
impact
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impacts
show examples
would not make
such
a big deal compared to
many
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the many
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benefits that gadgets bring. Even though the
simplycity
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simplicity
of gadget communications has much to offer,
post-pandemic
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the post-pandemic
show examples
era made
people
realize that they eventually need
a
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apply
show examples
real social interaction with other individuals.
Subsequently
, nowadays some
people
would
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apply
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only use online messaging
application
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applications
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to make
an
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apply
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offline
appointment
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appointments
show examples
with their relatives and have a long decent real-time conversation afterwards. In conclusion, when we are talking about the damaging impact
on
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of
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online communications, it would not be really relevant in
this
post-pandemic era because
people
already experience
the
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a
show examples
boring life without
real life
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real-life
show examples
interactions.
Submitted by Selectnames on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
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general
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some complex sentence structures, which enhances your arguments.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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