A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .

#places #world #tourism #source #income #advantage #dis

Recently, many places in the world have made

tourism

as main source of

income

On the other hand

, if

countries

cannot manage

tourism

well, it can cause some trouble. I believe with the former statement that the demerits would eclipsed by the merits. On the one hand, with the openness of the border, a lot of visitors from the risk

countries

can easily come. As they are from risk

countries

, they can do some harmful activities

such

tourism

For instance

, the country visited by them must be aware of the increasing number of crimes

such

as drug dealers, smugglers, etc.

Moreover

, the

income

from

tourism

would not only be fulfilled but

also

spent for other posts like protection, enforcement, etc.

On the other hand

, there is a lot of potential that can earned by country if the

tourism

becomes the main source of

income

Firstly

, if

tourists

feel so happy in one nation, they can talk to their relatives about the beauty of it.

Furthermore

, their colleagues will come to that country which can make the

income

from that sector move higher.

Secondly

, if the nation can serve

tourists

in a good way, there is a chance to make them become investors. The beautiful venue or healthy environment can attract

tourists

to create a company there.

Therefore

, plenty of opportunities would be available and can decrease the number of unemployed. In conclusion,

although

sometimes

tourists

from risky

countries

can do harmful activity, there are some benefits if the national border is opened wider

such

as increasing the number of

income

from

tourism

and attracting investors to invest.

Thus

, I still believe that demerits would be eclipsed by the merits.

Submitted by alfathemaster on Mon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical progression of ideas. Some points could be better organized to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Consider using more transition words or phrases.

task achievement

Some arguments need stronger support. Use more precise and specific examples to back up your points, rather than general statements.

task achievement

Work on enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some sentences could be clearer with more focused wording.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both strong. Each serves its purpose well in framing the essay and summarizing the arguments.

task achievement

The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of tourism effectively and provides a clear opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Juvenile deliquency is on rise today. in our modern times , more and more adolescents are commiting crime. what are the possible reasons? is there any solution to this problem?