Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little that can be done to rectify this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s modern society, social media has become a double-edged sword as it brings both upsides and downsides. Many people assume that internet users are being controlled in terms of perspectives and it is challenging for everyone to resolve
this
issue. From my viewpoint, I partly agree with
this
idea. On the one side,
this
assumption is true because social media monitors take advantage of crowd psychology to manipulate the residents.
For example
, about 2 years ago, the new girlfriend of the most famous Vietnamese singer at that time was criticized as the other woman between that singer and his previous partner by netizens despite her refutation.
Due to
this
incident, her career went down significantly afterwards. What is more, many hot current affairs have
also
been hidden because of unknown reasons. To be more specific, there has been no trace of the wars between Israel and Palestine on Facebook so many people were clueless about the current news including the damage to humans and property.
Thus
, it can be seen that the cyber community is being led by the nose.
On the other hand
, the society is becoming more and more developed.
In other words
, public awareness about cyberworld has been raised remarkably so they can evaluate online events.
For instance
, a recent case recently about a pupil being in isolation in his class posted by his mom has concerned a lot of people. After a short period of time, netizens found out that what the mom told them was totally untrue.
Due to
her selfishness, she made up a story to protect herself.
Additionally
, residents now defend their rights in many ways. Another example is about recent event when there was proof proving that one famous family in Viet Nam joined the rebel force.
Instead
of protecting their idols, netizens protested
this
family by posting inspirational videos to spread the word about patriotism.
Therefore
, there are many solutions to
this
raised matter. In conclusion,
while
many threads are being posed when using the internet, web surfers appear to overcome
this
issue.
Thus
, it is essential to raise the users’ awareness about cyber risks in modern life.
Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on

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task achievement
Try to enhance the precision of your examples to make them more relevant to the argument you are presenting. For instance, mentioning specific types of social media manipulation methods (e.g., fake news, echo chambers) could strengthen your argument significantly.
coherence cohesion
To make your ideas clearer, try to avoid repetition and ensure each point is explicitly linked back to the main argument. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining some of your expressions and correcting minor grammatical errors to improve clarity and coherence. For example, revising sentences like 'many threads are being posed' to 'many threats are posed' will enhance readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets the stage for your arguments. It provides a good foundation for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reiterates the importance of awareness about cyber risks, providing a coherent end to your essay.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and transitions. Each paragraph effectively addresses a specific aspect of the question, maintaining logical progression throughout.
supported main points
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the story about the Vietnamese singer and the event involving the famous family in Vietnam, which make your points more tangible and relatable.

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