in many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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In the contemporary epoch, the rate of population is increasing incredibly. Part of society believes that
village
areas
can be utilized to build new homes
while
critics
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
these
areas
is more necessary.
This
discussion has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy with advocates and critics both representing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valid arguments. I wholeheartedly
accede
Verb problem
agree
show examples
that it is relentlessly important to protect
village
areas
instead
of constructing houses.
To begin
with, the most predominant reason is
that
Change the determiner
that village area
those village areas
show examples
village
areas
are home
of
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to
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of flora and fauna
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if the
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
will begin
Wrong verb form
begins
show examples
in these
areas
then
deforestation will occur at
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
rate and the repercussions will be disastrous. Ultimately, a certain proportion of
animals
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animal
show examples
species will face extinction and
due to
clearing
a large
Correct the article-noun agreement
large areas
a large area
show examples
areas
of forests, soil erosion will be a major issue, and
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of carbon dioxide will rise according, it will lead to more health problems
to
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for
show examples
natives.
Moreover
, if the construction
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
promoted in rural
areas
as well, it will enhance the level of pollution in these corners. High levels of pollution
due to
machines will be disruptive
for
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to
show examples
the survival of society.
Furthermore
, another pivotal extrapolation to support the above matrimonial is that rural
areas
inherit a lot of cultural importance as well. A large number of religious temples and historical buildings are
also
located in these locations and habitant hearts are connected to these deeply.
Along with
this
, some adorable mountains, lakes, and landscapes are found in
village
sections. Humans from various other nations are
allured
Verb problem
attracted
show examples
by them as tourists to capture their beauty
thus
,
Correct article usage
the distruction
show examples
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
of
such
natural tourist spots will not be a positive development.
Therefore
, it is vital to protect these
areas
and another solution can be looked
for
Change preposition
at for
show examples
solving the trouble of over-population.
To conclude
, as per the statements mentioned above, it is crystal clear that
village
areas
should not be used for settlement of population by
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
new homes.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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overall positive feedback
You have articulated your opinion clearly and provided coherent arguments to support it. Ensure to maintain this approach for a well-structured essay.
language accuracy
Be careful with spelling and grammar. For example, 'epoch' could be replaced with 'era' for clarity, 'off' should be 'of', and watch out for missing spaces after commas which could affect readability.
language fluency
Try to use a variety of linking words to show clearer relations between your ideas. This will help your essay flow more naturally and enhance coherence.
language variety
Check for consistency in terms like 'village areas' and 'rural areas'. Using varied, precise vocabulary can help make your essay more engaging and clear.
argumentation strategy
Consider including a brief counter-argument to provide a more balanced perspective and then refute it to strengthen your position. This can add depth to your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which enhances its structure and readability.
content depth
You provided relevant examples and a logical rationale to support your viewpoint, making your argument stronger.
engagement
Your passion for the topic comes through in your writing, making it engaging for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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