IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Parents allowed their children to use ipad. Do tou agree or disagree

#parents #children #ipad #tou
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
Use synonyms
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPads
 have
important
Add an article
an important
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 role for
children
Use synonyms
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have many educational apps that enhance learning and development in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school. Some
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 don't have
mich
Correct your spelling
much
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 time to take care
their
Change preposition
of their
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 child
then
Linking Words
 they
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 to raise their child.
Ipad
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 for
the
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apply
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children
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. I think
children
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 at
age
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 below 2
years
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shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 not
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 but
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Correct pronoun usage
those age
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age
Wrong verb form
aged
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 above 2
years
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
. I will discuss the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvange
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
from
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in
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following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Ipad
show examples
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for elementary school students because
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ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 have many educational apps for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students and
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ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 can stimulate their imagination.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
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Correct article usage
the Ipad
show examples
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
show examples
 can improve
children
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's
hands-eyes
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hands-eye
show examples
 coordination and fine motor skills. In the future technology will grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and have innovation,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 would be good
to
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 to learn how to
use
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 the
technilogy
Correct your spelling
technology
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young
age
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
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 are many
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
using
Replace the word
use
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 in
children
Use synonyms
 at
age
Use synonyms
 below 2
years
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
The
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical research,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
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 that
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 at
age
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 below 2
years
Use synonyms
 who
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use
Verb problem
spend
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 screen time
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for more
show examples
more
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for more
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 than 2 hours per day
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 risk of autistic-like
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as lack of interaction
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with
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other people,inattention and conductive disorder. Autistic-like
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to be a big problem in the future.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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ipad
Use synonyms
 is
Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to access the internet that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
much content
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many contents
Fix the agreement mistake
much content
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 that
inappropriate
Add a missing verb
are inappropriate
show examples
Change preposition
for
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Replace the word
violent
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violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
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video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 and sexual
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 and
children
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
learn
leran
Correct your spelling
learn
 from these contents
Correct pronoun usage
which
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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make
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
inappropiate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and many social
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
will come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Another
disadvatage
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
 of using the
Use synonyms
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 is the blue light that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the eyes and
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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 of
eyes
Change the noun form
eye
show examples
 problems. Overusing of
ipad
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 can lead to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
activitys
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
 and
tent
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
 their weight and become an
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 that have many medical problems
following
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. So parents should monitor and control the
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ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
use
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 by their
children
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 and give them suggestions about should and shouldn't
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
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,
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Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPads
 have pros and cons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. I think
children
Use synonyms
 below 2
years
Use synonyms
shouln't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an ipad
show examples
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 but
children
Use synonyms
 above 2
years
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an ipad
show examples
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 under the control of their parents
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
most benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by papica13 on

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general
Try to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the essay's overall readability and sophistication.
grammar
Ensure accurate grammar and usage such as subject-verb agreement ('Ipad have' should be 'Ipad has').
development
Try to include specific examples and research findings to support your points more robustly.
task achievement
Acknowledge counterarguments and address them to enhance your argument's balance and depth.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the pros and cons of children using iPads.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
The essay addresses various aspects of the issue, including educational benefits, health risks, and the importance of parental monitoring.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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