The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisions

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The given line graph illustrates the percentage of household chores by different types of electrical appliances in one country within a period of 99 years, commencing from 1920

while

Linking Words

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

graph shows the rate of hours

housework

Change preposition

of housework

show examples

per week in one community from 1920 to 2019 , commencing from 1920.

Overal

Correct your spelling

Overall

show examples

, the highest rate of using electrical appliances can be observed for

vacume

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

According to

Linking Words

the diagram, at the

beginnig

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the year, refrigerators started with a low percentage almost

arond

Correct your spelling

around

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

and

vacum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

were

significantely

Correct your spelling

significantly

greater than

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

frefrigerators

Correct your spelling

refrigerators

by 40% and 30 % respectively.

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

figures for using refrigerators moderately increased until 2019 to reach 100%

where as

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

move

Wrong verb form

moved

show examples

upward trent to finish just over 70%. in 1920 , the number of hours per week

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing

acctivites

Correct your spelling

activities

at home was recorded at 50% for washing cloth and cleaning.

Linking Words

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

, the rate of using

electoronic

Correct your spelling

electronic

tools increased

while

Linking Words

the opposite can be seen for

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

per week.

Submitted by salehmiri1995 on Sat Jun 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

167 words

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some people say that advertising is extremely successfull at persuading us to buy things. other peoplr think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people whoplay them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?