The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisions

The given line graph illustrates the percentage of household chores by different types of electrical appliances in one country within a period of 99 years, commencing from 1920

while

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

graph shows the rate of hours

housework

Change preposition

of housework

show examples

per week in one community from 1920 to 2019 , commencing from 1920.

Overal

Correct your spelling

Overall

show examples

, the highest rate of using electrical appliances can be observed for

vacume

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

According to

the diagram, at the

beginnig

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the year, refrigerators started with a low percentage almost

arond

Correct your spelling

around

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

and

vacum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

were

significantely

Correct your spelling

significantly

greater than

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

frefrigerators

Correct your spelling

refrigerators

by 40% and 30 % respectively.

this

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

figures for using refrigerators moderately increased until 2019 to reach 100%

where as

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

move

Wrong verb form

moved

show examples

upward trent to finish just over 70%. in 1920 , the number of hours per week

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing

acctivites

Correct your spelling

activities

at home was recorded at 50% for washing cloth and cleaning.

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

, the rate of using

electoronic

Correct your spelling

electronic

tools increased

while

the opposite can be seen for

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

per week.

Submitted by salehmiri1995 on Sat Jun 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Governments of many countries put aside a lump sum to fund space research. Space exploration could potentially provide us with answers to many unanswered questions such as the existence of life outside of Earth and the creation of energy from sources other than fossil fuels. Although this gives opportunities for incredible findings and advancements, it is more important for the governments to ensure people of their country receive access to basic necessities such as healthcare and food.
6
band
People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learnliterature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that teaching literature in high schools is a sheer waste of time since it has little to no practical value. However, I contend that it provides essential moral orientation to students.
4
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, more and more people have tried to take risks in their professional lives and their personal lives. Some people think taking risks is an advantage, but in my opinion, I think the disadvantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages.
5
band
“Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?”
Some individuals express that in all levels of education time is spent too much on memorizing facts and there is not ehough time on learning practical skills. This essay completely agree with this statement because students who attent university spent several years to get a licence and few months of practice in the field that gave no experience and confidence to these new graduates.
5.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Many countries witness a decline in the recruitment of police officers. The reasons for this trend include lack of enthusiasm amongst children due to less nationalistic feel, and lower remuneration offered by the authorities. If this trend continues, the country will be negatively impacted, and will experience increased crime, which may consequently lead to a state of anarchy. This essay analyses the core problems of this issue, and if this issue is not resolved, the possible impacts it will have on our society.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learnliterature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

“Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?”