The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisions

The given line graph illustrates the percentage of household chores by different types of electrical appliances in one country within a period of 99 years, commencing from 1920

while

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

graph shows the rate of hours

housework

Change preposition

of housework

show examples

per week in one community from 1920 to 2019 , commencing from 1920.

Overal

Correct your spelling

Overall

show examples

, the highest rate of using electrical appliances can be observed for

vacume

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

According to

the diagram, at the

beginnig

Correct your spelling

beginning

of the year, refrigerators started with a low percentage almost

arond

Correct your spelling

around

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

and

vacum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

were

significantely

Correct your spelling

significantly

greater than

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

frefrigerators

Correct your spelling

refrigerators

by 40% and 30 % respectively.

this

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

figures for using refrigerators moderately increased until 2019 to reach 100%

where as

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

move

Wrong verb form

moved

show examples

upward trent to finish just over 70%. in 1920 , the number of hours per week

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing

acctivites

Correct your spelling

activities

at home was recorded at 50% for washing cloth and cleaning.

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

, the rate of using

electoronic

Correct your spelling

electronic

tools increased

while

the opposite can be seen for

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

per week.

Submitted by salehmiri1995 on Sat Jun 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences. While others think that are alternatives to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people feel that entertainers(eg.film stars,pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.