In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In the developed world, life expectancy is on the rise, and
this
is a great challenge that negatively impact
both society and people especially elderly individuals. Change the verb form
impacts
However
, this
essay will delve into the problem, discussing its impact and proposing solutions that will help to mitigate its effects.
To begin
with, and on Correct article usage
an idividuals
idividuals
level, health-related problems Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
is
one of the major issues facing elderly people, as they require Correct subject-verb agreement
are
an
intensive healthcare and attention. Remove the article
apply
This
can strain social services given the increasing Correct your spelling
demand
deman
for healthcare services, Correct your spelling
demand
Correct word choice
and rising
rising
pressure on medical service providers. Correct word choice
and rising
Moreover
, this
may lead to financial instability for older people as they have to cover the expences
of the services they receive. Correct your spelling
expenses
Especaially
, they have Correct your spelling
Especially
retiered
and their saving may not be sufficient enough to cater for their needs.
Correct your spelling
retired
However
, in order to mitigate the issue, government
can Add an article
the government
led
a hand by improving healthcare systems to cater for Correct your spelling
lend
large
number of patients and Change the article
a large
the large
mange
the increasing Correct your spelling
manage
doman
effectively. Correct your spelling
domain
Additionally
,
establishing educational campaigns to further
encourage individuals to opt for healthy
lifestyle, encouraging them to regularly exercise, eat healthy nutritious food, and give up bad habits. Add an article
a healthy
Furthermore
, they can inspire them to work in part time
jobs or participate in volunteering initiatives as it will contribute to their Add a hyphen
part-time
overall
well-being. For instance
, study
have shown that work Fix the agreement mistake
studies
contribute
positively to Change the verb form
contributes
improve
the mental and Wrong verb form
improving
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
wellbeing
of elderly individuals.
In summary, Correct your spelling
well-being
after
this
essay has highlighted the mentioned points it can reiterate that by supporting older populations to work and maintain healthy lifestyles, government
can alleviate the effects of Add an article
the government
incrasing
life expectancy.Correct your spelling
increasing
Submitted by marammajid1999 on
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task achievement
Aim to develop each point fully with more detailed explanations or examples. For instance, you could provide a specific example of a health-related problem faced by the elderly and explain how it impacts their daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and is connected logically to the next one. The transition between discussing problems and solutions could be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and try to use a more varied vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and show a better command of the language.
general
Proofread your essay to correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. For example, 'deman' should be 'demand', and 'retiered' should be 'retired'. Fixing these small issues can improve the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
introduction and conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task, addressing both the problems caused by increasing life expectancy and potential solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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