Some people believe that a good teacher is more important for education success while others think the students attitude is more important to succeed in education. Discuss both views, and give your own opinion.
Education has always been one of the major headlines in human lives.whether
success
of students is more dependent on their educator or Add an article
the success
the
manner Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
, is an absolutely debatable issue. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Although
both of these outlooks wil
yield paramount results in individuals' later Correct your spelling
will
years
, I side with the idea which
the tutors will play a more significant Correct word choice
that
role
than their manner in school years
.
Firstly
, succeeding in getting high marks has always been an inexorably huge hurdle for every school child .Not only for themselves but also
it became so inseparable from their teachers' mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
However
Students
abilities vary from each other ,but we cannot pass the fact that teachers will leave a deep influence on kids' accomplishments. More comprehensively, succeeding in Change noun form
Student's
Students'
early
Correct article usage
the early
years
will fortify the foundation of their knowledge that will definitely have brilliant impacts on later grades when less effort will be needed to be put on
understanding the complex materials Change preposition
into
by
the help of a suitable tutor.
Change preposition
with
On the other hand
, some societies assume that childhood is a time to learn attitudes toward people which plays a deeper role
in their personality. Throughout the years
, the inevitably vital role
of moral codes on
Change preposition
in
proceeding
lives of pupils, is no longer a secret , Correct article usage
the proceeding
that
Correct word choice
and
this
will eventually help students reaching
their target aim in different societies. An increasing number of parents are Wrong verb form
reach
also
giving more attention to improving every nuances
of their temper. It is perceived that they will show kids a better understanding of their successful surroundings which will ultimately lead them to better achievements rather than only a perfect teacher.
Change to a singular noun
nuance
To conclude
both views which I elaborated thoroughly ,I think that, the more educated pupils by the professionals,the better the outcome . It plays a more strict role
o education in comparison with their attitudes and temper.Submitted by Narges
on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. However, there are several areas that could be improved. Start with rephrasing your introduction to make it clearer and more engaging. The first sentence could be more concise. For example: 'The success of students hinges on both the quality of their teachers and their own attitudes. While both are crucial, the role of a good teacher tends to be more significant in ensuring educational success.'
coherence cohesion
You should work on linking your ideas better. The paragraphs sometimes feel disjointed. Use transition words and phrases to create smoother connections. For example, in the second paragraph, you could start with, 'To illustrate the impact of teachers, consider the following...' This approach would help maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
While you presented both viewpoints, you could delve deeper into the examples and explanations provided. Ensure that you support each claim with specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which fulfills the complete response criterion well.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.