Nowadays, young children and teenagers are eating more unhealthy food and not exercising. Some people think parents are responsible for their children’s unhealthy habits, while others think governments should play a larger role in encouraging children and teenagers to be healthier. Who do you think has more of an influence on children & teenagers: parents or governments? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In today 's contemporary era , kids and the young generation are having a lot of fast
food
in their daily routine and they are not doing any physical activities which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not good for their
health
. It is believed by some masses that it is because of their
parents
because they are not paying attention to what they are eating or drinking .
However
, others argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
could stop
this
by encouraging them with some
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
programmes to improve their
health
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my own point of view in the conclusion . On the one hand , There are many reasons why
people
think that
parents
are responsible for their
children
's unhealthy
food
diets. First and foremost is that both
parents
are working nowadays and they have a very hectic schedule
due to
which they don't have enough time to cook
food
at home and they always try to eat
food
outside which is not a great option for them or their
children
's
health
.
As a result
, kids and young
people
make it a habit and start eating from outside and sit at home in front of mobile phones, computers and televisions
instead
of doing outdoor activities and
due to
this
, they can get fat and other
health
issues .
For example
,
According to
the research , there are 90 % of
people
around the world are suffering from obesity , heart problems and many more just because of overconsumption of fast
food
.
On the other hand
,some
people
think that
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
of Nation could take some steps to handle
this
issue.
Firstly
,
According to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the population believe that
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Authority can start some free
health
-related camps where they can provide knowledge about balanced
diet
and imbalanced
diet
through activities to the pupils , which would be very helpful to motivate
children
and young
people
to eat healthily and stay healthy .
For example
, when I was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school , I had a subject named physical education where all the benefits of healthy
food
and the demerits of eating oily and fast
food
were mentioned , which helped me a lot to stay fit and fiddle by following those
diet
plans .
Moreover
,the Government should organise some sports events where there should be the mandatory rule that only
physcally
Correct your spelling
physically
fit
people
can take part in the games ,and
also
keep some prizes or awards for the winners , which will be helpful to encourage the young generation to eat a good
diet
in order to be fit . In conclusion ,
According to
my perspective
Add a comma
,
show examples
parents
have more influence on their
children
because they spend more time with their kids and it will be easy for them to keep away their
children
from fast
food
by making healthy and tasty
food
at home .
Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively presents both viewpoints and clearly indicates that both will be discussed. This is a strong start! To enhance it further, ensure the tone remains formal consistently by avoiding phrases like 'kids' and instead use 'children' and 'adolescents.'
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and relevant examples are provided, contributing to a strong argument. To further improve, consider providing additional real-world examples or statistical data to reinforce your points.
logical structure
Ensure to use transition words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments and ideas. Phrases like 'likewise,' 'in contrast,' and 'moreover' can be used to enhance the flow.
supported main points
You've effectively balanced the discussion by presenting both viewpoints clearly and offering a concluding perspective that aligns well with the arguments presented.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task and covers all aspects of the prompt thoroughly.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint and ties back to your main argument, providing a cohesive end to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary habits
  • role models
  • junk food advertising
  • public awareness campaigns
  • nutrition education
  • public amenities
  • physical activity
  • healthy meals
  • screen time
  • fast-food chains
  • subsidies
  • sanctions
  • policies
  • regulations
  • interaction
  • influence
  • daily habits
  • supportive environment
  • preparing meals
  • encouraging sports
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!