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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #advantage #outweigh
nowadays, there are lots of parents in the world who want to teach their kids by themself without sending these
children
 to school.
this
 writer believed that
this
 activity has a negative effect on
children
's childhood. it can be that parent has a lot of things to worry about in their life and they must focus on making money to survive in the modern era. so they do not have enough expertise to teach their
children
.
moreover
, if they spend an enormous time teaching their
children
, they will lose their time making money. many experts are giving advice that it is necessary to have one person in a family focus on the economy of the house. It will be better than spending time teaching their
children
.
however
, homeschooling still has its own benefits.
firstly
, parents can save money which has to turn into a fee for
children
 to join school. Homeschooling has emerged as a cost-effective in recent years.
secondly
, homeschooling will create a comfortable environment which can support
children
 to focus on studying
as well as
 possible. at home, a parent can
also
 know exactly what is going to happen to the study system of their kids. in conclusion,
while
 homeschooling has a lot of benefits for
children
 to improve their personal skills, it is still necessary for
children
 to go to school.
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coherence and cohesion
Introduce clear and distinct body paragraphs to improve the logical structuring of your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
task response
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will add depth to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentences to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
task response
Try to elaborate more on your points and connect them back to the main argument. This can help in clearly presenting comprehensive ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your argument effectively.
task response
Some valid points were raised both for and against homeschooling, showing an attempt to present a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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