IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You are moving to a new city with your family. Write a letter to a real estate agent to enquire about accommodations. Include in your letter Why you are moving Where you want to live The type of accommodation required

#city #estate #agent #enquire #accommodations #type #accommodation
Dear Zulfi, I am writing
this
 letter to tell you
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to
mooving
Correct your spelling
moving
 to another
place
 with my big family, over there
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 really want to get e new job for need my
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to
imfrove
Correct your spelling
improve
 my skill
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 language.
Besids
Correct your spelling
Besides
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to
looking
Verb problem
see
show examples
 my new friend
also
 over there.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to move to another
place
 before
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 leave.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 choose the
place
 the name is Sengigi,
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
sengigi
Change the capitalization
Sengigi
show examples
 is one of the
Correct quantifier usage
most beautifull
show examples
beautifull
Correct your spelling
beautiful
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 in the world for
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
senggigi
Change the capitalization
Senggigi
show examples
 is the
place
 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
looking job is
extreamly easly
Correct your spelling
extremely easy
. There are some
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to like tu using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
such
 as
taxi
Correct article usage
a taxi
show examples
, bus, and private car, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 usually prefer using
taxib
Change the capitalization
Taxib
show examples
 because the price is cheaper than other
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
 and
also
extreamly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 comfortable
tu
Correct your spelling
to
 use the taxi. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon Your
sincerelly
Correct your spelling
sincerely
 SAPARWADI.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

suitable writing tone
It's important to maintain a formal and professional tone when writing to a real estate agent. Avoid informal abbreviations and ensure that your language is polite and business-like.
logical structure
To improve coherence, consider organizing your letter into clear paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea. This will help the reader follow your message more easily.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of the letter are properly formatted and respectful, which is important in formal correspondence.
complete response
The letter provides necessary details about why you are moving, where you want to live, and the type of accommodation you require. This fulfills the task's requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: