Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?
In the modern era, some
parents
enforce greater pressure on their children
in order to succeed. There are some significant causes for this
trend, most of which, in my assessment, have been positive.
One reason is that parents
want their children
to be economically secure in a money-led society. In a society where material values and living standards increase, having academic success
is a stepping stone to a high-paying job to ensure financial security. Another reason is that,
Remove the comma
apply
Parents
might contrast the achievements of their kids with others as a result
of social media and social norms, which increases the pressure to ensure success
. Social media evidence such
as honor
roll students, scholarship recipients, people obtaining great prizes, or even just the Change the spelling
honour
success
of other people's children
displayed on social media platforms like Facebook and Tiktok raises expectations. There is more competition among parents
.
However
, this
tendency has benefits as well as
drawbacks. One of the significant advantages is that children
's chances of success
can be increased by helping them focus their efforts on worthwhile activities owing to clear expectations. A child who aspires to get accepted into an outstanding academic program concentrates greater attention on their studies because of the pressure to achieve the requirements. High expectations can instill
a fear of failure in youngsters, preventing them from taking healthy chances and embracing vital learning opportunities. Change the spelling
instil
Children
's ability to generate opportunities for themselves might be limited by their fear of failure, which can lead to cheating. These items can form harmful habits in them.
In conclusion, there are plenty of reasons why some parents
currently place greater emphasis on their children
's success
. As a result
, there may be favorable
effects on the Change the spelling
favourable
children
's well-being and development.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Relevant Specific Examples
Your essay would benefit from providing more specific examples to illustrate your points more clearly. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and make your arguments more compelling.
Logical Structure
To further improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Using transitional phrases could help in this regard.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
Your introduction and conclusion are both clearly present and help frame the essay well.
Complete Response
The essay addresses the question comprehensively, discussing both reasons and effects concisely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!