IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, environmental issues are increasing, so a group of people think that raising the price of fossil fuels that vehicles use is the best solution for solving it. I subscribe to
this
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 idea owing to the fact that it reduces the carbon footprint and
noise
Use synonyms
 pollution. On the one hand, what is important is that when the cost of fuel increases,
then
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 people will be encouraged to drive other types of vehicles that are eco-friendly or are travelled by public transportation. In fact,
this
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 method reduces the number of carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide that emit from cars and are the main cause of air pollution and global warming.
Whereas
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, in
this
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 situation, populations have to utilize electronic or Hybrid cars that generate no or less harmful gas and are worked by clean energy.
In addition
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, they use public transport systems that are worked by power.
On the other hand
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, costly fuel prevents the community from going everywhere by their own cars;
therefore
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, the
noise
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that is
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 produced when they are stuck in traffic congestion declines.
In other words
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, it reduces the
noise
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 that injures some animals.
For example
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, European cities do not have
noise
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 pollution
that is
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 a result of traffic congestion and wild animals live in green lands like parks inasmuch as in
this
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 continent the price of fuels is so high.
To sum up
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, costly fuel is the best method for solving some environmental matter on account of the fact that it decreases the amount of some greenhouse gases and persuades the communities to use environmentally friendly transport systems.
Moreover
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, it declines
noise
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 that injures some wild creatures.

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task achievement
Consider providing more examples and elaboration on your points. This will enhance clarity and depth in your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically sequenced, using clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a good balance between the discussion of benefits and drawbacks related to increased fuel costs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental problem
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • carpooling
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • electric cars
  • hybrid cars
  • sustainable transportation
  • fuel-efficient vehicles
  • revenue generation
  • environmental initiatives
  • renewable energy
  • reforestation
  • economic disparity
  • subsidies
  • mitigation
  • incentivize
  • adoption
  • market shift
  • consumer behavior
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