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Band 4

the topic of the share of income earned by the top 1 percent from 1975 to 2015.

#topic #income #percent
The provided line chart illustrates the percentage of seven countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 earned income by the top 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 based on a world wealth and income database from 1975 to 2015.
Overall
, it is clearly observed that all countries experienced growth continuously.
In addition
, the United States was in the top spot among other nations during the entire period.
To begin
 with, there was an increase in Canada, Italy and Japan between 1975 and 2010. As the data shows in 1975 the proportion of Canada started at around 7% and it rose significantly to around 9% before it soared uninterruptedly to 13%
at the end
 of the period.
Similarly
, both Italy and Japan had a marginal rise during the same time frame. Those began at around 6% and
then
 they rose gradually to 9%.
In contrast
, there was a deviation trend in the US, Germany, France and the UK.
For example
, both the proportion of the US and France started
less
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at less
show examples
 than 8% and they have different end points which were 18% in 2015 and 8% in 2011 respectively.
Next,
the percentage of Germany started
approximately
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at approximately
show examples
 11% in 1975.
This
 figure fluctuated until 2005 before it ended at around 12% in 2010.
In addition
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the UK appeared in 1990 which was 10% and
incline
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 significantly to 12% in 2010.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a concluding sentence or brief summary to wrap up the essay, reinforcing the main points discussed.
relevant specific examples
Revisit the percentages provided for accuracy and consistency to ensure that they align with the data on the chart.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates a logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next.
supported main points
The main points are supported effectively with specific data from the chart.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a clear comparison between different countries, highlighting trends and deviations effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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