Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There has been an ongoing debate about whether teenagers should keep the traditional values of their community or become independent
people
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. I firmly believe that
although
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driving
people
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to keep their traditions may preserve cultural
identity
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, the rise of individualism offers more appealing benefits. On the one hand, valuing customs helps
people
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protect their cultural
identity
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.
In other words
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, if individuals appreciate their cultural properties, they will maintain their distinctiveness which are signs to differentiate them from other peoples.
As a result
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, the teenagers, especially nationalists, will be encouraged in terms of morale which in turn fosters them to give their best effort in order to contribute to social well-being
as well as
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the existence of their
culture
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.
On the other hand
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,
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granted independence raise individualism. To clarify, the young can reach their true potential which promotes them to acquire personal autonomy because they can push their boundaries without cultural restrictions so they have a solid foundation which helps them stand on their own feet. As a direct result, they become superior individuals who have the competence and experience to play a key role in societal development. From my perspective,
while
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cultural conservation provides remarkable cultural
identity
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, it is undermined by the independence of each individual.
That is
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to say,
culture
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itself attracts
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due to
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its uniqueness and meanings, yet
people
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should not be forced to obey it,
otherwise
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, they will be annoyed and enraged which may lead to anti-social actions
such
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as vandalism or racism.
In contrast
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, those who prioritize their personal autonomy do not actually lose the original values of their cultures, but some of them who are interested in their custom enrich and popularize them so as to raise community awareness of their
culture
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. In conclusion,
while
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both sides show some truth, I believe that the argument leans toward personal freedom as it helps individuals become helpful citizens, regardless of the intellectual values which cultural
identity
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delivers. Ultimately,
instead
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of overshadowing traditions, independence lovers may contribute to their
culture
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if they are attracted by it.

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task achievement
Make your main points clearer and more detailed. Use simple examples to support your ideas.
coherence
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas better. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to give more examples from real life or history to strengthen your points.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which is important for this task.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear in the conclusion, showing strong personal belief.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sense of identity
  • Cultural background
  • Community unity
  • Formative years
  • Significant meanings
  • Passed down
  • Creativity and innovation
  • New ideas and perspectives
  • Societal progress
  • Personal growth
  • Self-discovery
  • Outdated or irrelevant
  • Adhering to traditions
  • Meaningful and relevant
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