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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and houses in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #houses #areas #policy
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In recent years, governments from different nations have published the policy regarding amenities rearrangement. Local facilities are put separately
in particular
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 locations.
This
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 writer believes that
this
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 action might bring more convenience which outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
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, relocating shops, schools and offices makes the structure of the complex city more organized.
Therefore
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, it is easier for the inhabitants to navigate their ways. Evidently, Hanoi City has different streets providing specific services and products.
This
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 strategy gives more choices for the community.
On the other hand
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, it cannot be denied that arranging local amenities has a huge impact on society. It seems to be the common way to enhance the quality of life.
For instance
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, mixed supplication in local areas like traditional markets might not satisfy all consumers
due to
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 low standards. With
this
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 innovation, each kind of product has its own field to develop.
As a result
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, customers are provided with the best items. On the flip side of the policy, it is vital to understand that it is a long-term solution and non-cost effective.
However
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, in urban areas, many people indicate that higher taxes are required to rebuild the constructions of the origin. Looking at European countries as a typical example, the citizens pay nearly 40 per cent for excise.
Consequently
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, local residents have to emigrate for
this
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 investment because of financial burdens. Taking everything into account, rearranging the infrastructure is a basic step for development in some countries.
Thus
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, the policy has a positive effect on the community.
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clear comprehensive ideas
Improve the clarity of your arguments. While your points are mostly clear, elaborating further with more detailed examples or explanations could strengthen your essay.
logical structure
Work on logical progression. Try to ensure that each paragraph naturally follows the previous one, guiding the reader smoothly through your argument.
complete response
Introduce counterarguments and address them. Discuss potential disadvantages more deeply and then refute or acknowledge them to show a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
relevant specific examples
You provided some relevant examples, which help in supporting your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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